Learning how to live and to breathe
by The Prince and The Warlock
Summary: Arthur, whist walking through the forest meets a young boy who is being abused by his 'owner'. Although broken they both change the other for the better but the relationship that ensues surprises them both. Arthur/Merlin and Gwaine/Leon.
1. Chapter One: Introduction

**Hi,**

**This is the first chapter of my first story and I hope you enjoy it, I will welcome any type of criticism or reviews so please review. Enjoy.**

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><p>Arthur walked through the forest, yet again wondering why he'd told his father he'd wanted to visit his sister's grave, he hadn't of course, he'd just wanted to be alone. It was four years to this day that his sister, Morgana had been killed by the sorcerer, Mordred; his father's tolerance for magic, with that final blow had diminished, leaving him with nothing other than hate in his heart for all those that bore the gift of sorcery. Arthur knew how prejudice his father's views were, and held nothing but contempt for the man who raised him. After seeing first hand how much pain his father had inflicted on those who did no harm to others, Arthur had vowed, that when he became king things would change for the better. He was pulled from his musings as he heard a muffled noise, much like a scream coming from his left; drawing his sword almost silently from its sheath, he stalked towards the sounds, expecting them to be from an animal.<p>

When his eyes first landed on the large, overbearing man in the centre of the clearing towering over the form of what Arthur assumed to be no more that a boy, rage coursed through his veins.

"What is going on here?" he asked, the politeness beat into him from birth suddenly missing. The large man turned his head, rage covering his face as he took in the perfectly dressed Prince of Camelot. He turned away from the blonde, struggling with his trousers, _I __don__'__t __bloody __care __who __he __is, __I__'__m __running __him __through __for __interrupting __me._The younger man, still on the floor, whimpered and the giant hearing it glared before kicked him in the stomach. The younger boy rolled away from the man trying to escape but before he could the boot of the other man came into contact with his back ripping open the skin and causing the boy to bleed.

"Stop. This. Right. Now." Arthur enunciated, resting the blade of his sword against the barbarian's back. "What gives you the right to treat this boy like this?" The prince questioned his voice only slightly lower than a roar. "Now you can either sell me this boy, or I will take him by force." The prince bartered, knowing you couldn't ask a man for something and give nothing in return. Without waiting for a response Arthur threw all of the money that he had on him to the floor at the mans feet before removing his cloak and wrapping the gangly teen in it, hoisting him into his arms and setting him down just outside of the clearing. "Wait here for a second." He whispered to the boy, who just whimpered in response.

When he stepped back into the clearing the man was sat by the campfire, eating what looked to be a chicken leg. "You have been lucky, my friend, on any other day I wouldn't have given him up without a fight." He chuckled to himself, food spilling out of his mouth and down his top. The prince looked away in disgust before firing off his own response.

"No, you are lucky, for if I ever see you within Camelot again, I will kill you." The blonde promised venom dripping from every word. The overgrown man turned about thirteen shades of purple before he smirked, his anger forgotten and replaced with smugness.

"He was a lousy slave and an even lousier fuck; so unwilling, had to be pinned down, all the while screaming no, no, no. I beat it out of him eventually though, never speaks now in fear of loosing his tongue." He laughed seeing the distress on the prince's face.

"What is your name?" Arthur forced out his teeth clenched so tight he thought they would crumble.

"Valiant." He replied, seeming confused. The prince moved so quickly the other man had no chance of escaping as the blonde's sword ran through his chest, "Never again shall you harm another, Valiant," Arthur whispered into the man's ear before withdrawing his sword from his chest, leaving him to slump on the floor, dead.

Arthur strode away, picking the young boy up again, trying to ignore the pain that coursed through him as the dark haired boy leaned away from him. As he walked back to Camelot he thought of the pain that, the now asleep, boy in his arms must have gone through. But the one thing the prince did forget about was the bag that still sat on the forest floor, holding at least twenty pieces of gold.

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><p><strong>What did you think? Please review, chapter two will follow shortly. <strong>


	2. Chapter Two: Time Frame

**Hi,**

**Chapter two, hope you enjoy :-)**

**Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Merlin the BBC does.**

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><p>Arthur groaned as he placed the young boy down next to the lake at which they had stopped; his arms were aching from carrying the boy for what he guessed was about four miles. After he had settled the boy down, leaning his sleeping form against a rock he stretched his arms high above his head, hearing and feeling all of the muscles in his back pop. He groaned again rubbing the back of his neck, fatigue seeped through his bones, surrounding him; <em>fire, <em>_food, __sleep; __in __that __order._He thought to himself before setting off to collect wood.

When the young brunette began to whine in his sleep Arthur rushed to his side immediately touching his shoulder gently he whispered, "Hey, its okay." The boy's eyes opened slowly, but when they focused on the blonde they shot open in fright as he struggled to scramble away. He move away crouching down, not noticing his nakedness now that the prince's vibrant red cloak was missing. "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." Arthur said, whispering the last part, the fact that the boy didn't trust him hurting more than he cared to let on. "I'm Arthur," He said "Crown prince of Camelot, and your called…" he trailed off hoping that the boy would take the hint. Suddenly noticing his nakedness and vulnerability, the boy blushed looking down at the ground, embarrassment flushing over him. Arthur noticing his predicament reached down and passed the cloak to the boy.

"I'm called Merlin." The boy whispered, wrapping the cloak around his shoulders, covering himself. Arthur smiled to himself, triumph littering his face as he heard Merlin speak.

"It's nice to meet you Merlin; I've made some food, if you'd like some I'll get it for you." Arthur waited for a response, frowning as Merlin only nodded, before looking away. Arthur walked over to the makeshift campfire and pulled both the sticks that were speared through bits of rabbit away from the flames. When he sat down again he moved a tiny bit closer to the boy, wanting to see how he'd react, as expected Merlin moved away form the price, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. "Here, with my cooking skills it will be dry and probably tough but it's all we'll get before we get back to Camelot… err… Merlin… here you go." Arthur wasn't sure why he was feeling so insecure, but he was and the stuttering was definitely new to him; actually a lot of the things he had been feeling towards Merlin had been new, and he wasn't sure yet whether it was a good thing or not.

Merlin gingerly took the rabbit from Arthur, refusing to make eye contact or acknowledge the man apart from a very small "Thank you."

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, both chewing quietly on their rabbit, mulling over the events of the day. "How long were you with Valiant?" Arthur said quietly, not entirely sure that he wanted to know the answer. Merlin frowned looking at the ground;_why __did __this __man, __the __prince __of __Camelot, __care?_

"Seven years." He said timidly, _what __if __he __hurts __me __like __master __did?_Arthur looked up in disbelief, _that __barbarian __hurt __him __for seven years__?_

"How old are you now Merlin?" seeing the uncertainty on the young boys face Arthur continued "Don't lie to me please Merlin, if you can handle seven years with that man I'm pretty sure I can handle one number." Merlin swallowed, fear clearly painted on his face, _this __can__'__t __possibly __end __well. _He took a deep breath in before exhaling slowly.

"I'm nineteen sire."

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><p><strong>What did you think? Review please <strong>


	3. Chapter Three: Confessions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin unfortunately.**

**Here is chapter three, sorry for the long wait and merry Christmas, as usual I hope you enjoy and please review.**

The thin stick that had been holding Arthur's share of the rabbit was snapped in half as the prince's fists clenched together; Merlin was only twelve when it started. _Twelve._ A strange strangled sound escaped Arthur's throat as his eyes welled up, turning away from the boy he pushed his fists violently into his eyes, willing the tears back. Arthur couldn't help but compare their lives; as future king the worst thing that happened to him was the death of his mother, but that still, that didn't effect him that much as he never knew her. The most painful situation the twenty four year old could remember being in was when his bloodhound had been killed on a hunting accident when he was fifteen, that was the last time he could remember crying. His father had told him to 'grow up, no future king should cry over something entirely replaceable.' He hadn't wanted to argue with his father and so didn't venture the point that the friendship that he shared with the animal couldn't be replaced. But this boy, broken inside and out had faced more than anyone ever should, violated and beaten, the prince couldn't even begin to imagine how that would feel. To be degraded like that, to be all alone in the world, comfort only being found if you were left alone for the night.

A had on his shoulder drew him out of his musings as he drew a shaky breath into his lungs, "Sire?" Merlin's unsure voice drifted towards his ears.

"You were only twelve?" Arthur asked for conformation, unsure weather or not he wanted an answer. He turned around to face the boy, taking in all of the silvery healed scars littering his body, the faint red lines of cuts a couple of weeks old and then the angry red lines of cuts that couldn't have been more than a day or two old. There were hand shaped bruises of purple and yellow littering the boy's collar bone and neck before disappearing down under the edge of the cloak, (indicating that as the wounds had healed they had been afflicted again).

"I can't remember it ever being any different, sire." Merlin said looking down at the ground, ashamed. No one had ever thought so badly of him before. "I can't remember having a family or a home or a village." He added hoping that if the prince realised that it didn't bother him, that he would let it go. But as he spoke those words Arthur seemed to become even more distressed.

"How did you get these?" he asked tugging the cloak down to the boy's bellybutton. Arthur watched his fingers as they traced the outlines of the blotches, the contrast of the unharmed parts of Merlin's pale skin was beautiful compared his own tanned calloused hands, weathered form fighting with his knights. The dark haired boy shivered, having never received a touch that portrayed so much emotion or that was so tender; Arthur, mistaking this for a reaction to the cold wrapped the cloak around the boy's shoulders once again, muttering an apology.

"Beatings mostly, if I refused or if I was ill behaved." Merlin said truthfully, tying to miss out the details as not to upset the blonde any more than he already had.

"Refused what?" Arthur asked cringing, he already knew the answer. Merlin paused unsure weather he wanted to share such intimate details with someone he didn't even know, _what if he hurt me too? _ He moved back to sit next to the fire, waiting until Arthur was sat next to him before starting.

"My master, Valiant, he used to… err… he- he would force me to, to service him," Merlin hoped the prince had caught on as he couldn't bring the word to form in his mouth, but by the paleness on the prince's face told Merlin that he had indeed understood the meaning of his words. "The first year or so I fought every time, but he was too strong, he would bribe me with food if I was being 'particularly difficult' as he liked to say, but you must understand sire, I was so _hungry, _sometimes he wouldn't feed me for days. It would feel as if my stomach was trying to claw it's was out of my body. The bruises meant nothing if he fed me."

Merlin paused for a second, wiping the tears that he hadn't noticed falling from his cheeks before continuing, "But then he started inviting people to his little 'parties'. There were too many of them, I couldn't do anything, he bound me, they all had knives and there was no way I could have gotten out with the bracelets on, they stopped my magi-" Merlin stopped when he realised what he was about to say.

"I'd be left bleeding and broken on the floor and as they left they would just throw money at me. Master would pick it up and just leave me there until the next morning, then I do my chores and in the evening it would start all over again." Merlin looked over at the prince, shocked to see tears winding their way down his face. "The times I fought back I got it the worst, so I just stopped, stopped fighting and caring; I just shut down, found my own way to deal with it. I don't know how much longer I would have been able to survive if you hadn't have found me in the forest" He finished, longing for a way to express to the prince how grateful he was to him for saving him. Merlin knew of only one way to make his previous master happy and he hoped that it would also make his new master just as happy; leaning towards the blonde Merlin dropped the cloak, moving his lips against the prince's and draping his naked body over his lap.

Arthur groaned at the feeling of the boy perched on his lap. Arthur rested his hands on the boy's slight hips, grinding their erections together; heat flooded every part of his body as he moved his tongue along Merlin's lower lip, loving the electricity that coursed through every point of their contact. "Sire." Merlin gasped pulling the price back out of the moment; he couldn't let their relationship be built on this, he couldn't be like Valiant and use Merlin like that. Merlin only wanted to have sex because he thought it would appease him, with reluctance Arthur pushed Merlin violently back sending him tumbling to the ground.

It took Arthur a few moments to calm his breathing, and after accepting that nothing could be done to calm the situation in his breeches he knelt down next to the now crying boy. "I'm so sorry Merlin, " he whispered as the boy flinched from the comforting hand that Arthur tried to place on his shoulder, " I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry that _he _hurt you and most of all I'm so _sorry _that you think that the only way to win my affection was by offering me sex." Arthur reached for his cloak wrapping it around Merlin before pulling the boy onto his lap and allowing the sobbing teen to curl into his chest, comforting him the only way he could think of.

"Sleep well Merlin, it'll all seem better when you wake." Arthur hushed the boy, rocking him back and forth as he drifted off into what seemed a blissful sleep.

Arthur had been holding Merlin for about ten minutes when he realised that his raging erection hadn't ebbed, although he knew that the sound asleep boy couldn't feel it he moved Merlin off his lap out of respect. The teen whimpered when Arthur lost contact with him, and fearing that he would wake Arthur lay down on the forest floor before allowing the boy to connect to his side.

As Merlin slept, Arthur worried. As he thought back to his first kiss with Merlin and it dawned on him why he wasn't attracted to any of the women his farther wanted him to marry; and more so why he paid such good attention when he was training with the knights. Being homosexual, in his father's books, was just as bad as sorcery. It went against everything natural and normal. But as Merlin slept half lay across his body Arthur couldn't think of anything more natural. Ignoring the nakedness of the boy Arthur pulled him closer to his chest, before he rested his lips and nose against Merlin's head, pressing a kiss to his hair before taking a deep breath in. he wasn't sure of his feelings for Merlin but he knew whatever they were, his father wouldn't approve, and with disaster imminent he drifted off to sleep with Merlin wrapped comfortably around him.

Merlin was the first to wake in the morning, shivering from the cool of the morning air. The teen was at first confused, feeling a weight wrapped around him, but it wasn't uncomfortable, the feeling of being held; being held by his previous master had promised pain, embarrassment and violation, but being held by Arthur was warm, inviting and promised something huge that Merlin couldn't quite pin point.

He lay there, with his head on the prince's chest for a while longer, counting his heart beats. When he reached one-hundred-and-sixty-eight he could no longer ignore the way the cold clawed his naked body, and so, pulling away from the blonde and wrapping the cloak around him he stood shaking out his tired muscles. Staring at the dwindling fire Merlin pondered his choices, _spend an age searching for wood or whisper one word? _The fact that Merlin had been denied the chance to use his Magic for so long made up his mind and not noticing the now awake and alert prince, he whispered a very timid "Forbaerne." he watched, relief flooding him, as the flames roared to life once again. The relief however, was short lived as he heard the distinct voice of the prince laced with disbelief,

"You're a sorcerer."

**So, what did you think? Review **


	4. Chapter Four: Care

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin unfortunately.**

**Ok so here is chapter four but before I start I would just like to say a huge thank you for all of the reviews and story alerts I have received for 'Learning how to live and to breathe'. I really wasn't sure how this would be received and I am really grateful for all of the support, helpful pointers and people pointing out all of the little mistakes I didn't realise I had made. So as usual, please review.**

Panic coursed through Merlin as he tried to put as much distance between him and the prince as he could. Not paying attention to where he was going Merlin tripped on one of the spare fire logs, falling to the ground, with tears streaming down his face the young warlock continually whispered "please don't hurt me, please, please don't." Curling his face into the dirt and leaves Merlin panicked, accepting that after all he had been through, this right here, was how he was destined to die.

Arthur was at a loss. Although he didn't share his fathers prejudice views, and he knew that there was something about Merlin that made him more angry, scared and worried than he'd ever been in his life. But the young warlock also made his heart jump in his chest, when they were together Arthur felt comfortable and safe. Looking down at the broken boy on the forest floor, sobbing his heart out Arthur felt his throat tightening, he had done that. Sitting down next to the young boy Arthur pulled him up so that he was sitting in his lap, "Merlin, shhh. Merlin please calm down. Shhh. Please Merlin, shhh." Arthur was worried; he'd never seen someone this distressed before. "Please Merlin, for me. Please, shhh. You have to clam down." Eventually the warlock calmed, and relaxed against the prince's chest, a position that both were completely comfortable with.

"I was going to tell you, I swear. I was going to tell you Arthur. I just… I was so scared." Merlin's voice was frantic as he tried to put across his point. Merlin turned in the prince's lap, wrapping his legs around his waist and pressing his face into the blonde's neck. Arthur tensed at this, expecting a repeat of yesterday and when Merlin's lips began to run over Arthur's neck and his hands found their way under his tunic, Arthur forgot why he'd stopped Merlin before. The heat that coursed through his body as Merlin nipped at his neck was a new experience and one that Arthur could quickly see becoming his favourite. Arthur groaned and pressed the boy's body closer to his, longing for more contact, more heat. "Sire, please." Merlin begged, needing more friction, but the use of Arthur's formal title caused him to gently restrain the boy's wrists between them with one of his large hands.

"Merlin, stop." The young warlock continued to kiss the prince's neck and grinding his erection against the blondes. "Stop Merlin, please." Arthur's voice was strained and at the sound of the blonde's discomfort Merlin stopped and looked at him. Arthur looked at the warlocks flushed face before asking, "Are you doing this because you want to or because you're scared of what I'll do to you now that I know you have magic?" Merlin didn't answer Arthur's question as he didn't know how. He wanted to make Arthur feel good but he wasn't sure why, was it because he was scared or because he liked him?

"I don't know." Merlin replied quietly. "What's going to happen to me now?" he asked quietly, accepting that it most likely wasn't going to be good.

"I'm taking you back to Camelot with me, I'm going to employ you as my manservant and you can sleep in the adjoining room to mine, it's only small as it was originally built as a servant's room. We don't generally let servants sleep in the upper levels of the castle but I don't want anything to happen to you, and you will not, under any circumstances tell or let anyone see you using magic, because if you get caught it will not only be your head on the chopping block it will be mine as well." Arthur said, worrying about how well his plan was going to work.

"But, magic is _illegal." _ Merlin said staring at the prince in disbelief.

"My views are not my fathers, I believe magic to be but a sword, wheedled by the right person a tool to do good, and by the wrong person a weapon to harm many; I don't believe that you are the wrong person Merlin. You have suffered too much in your life to enjoy inflicting pain upon others; you are too good for that." The tenderness in Arthur's voice shocked them both, but Merlin was more worried about his new job as the prince's manservant.

"By Manservant do you mean…" not knowing the words to describe what he meant Merlin reached over and rubbed the blonde's crotch, extracting a moan from his chest.

"Gods no Merlin, I mean washing and cleaning and polishing my armour." Arthur was distraught at the fact Merlin thought he would use him like that. But the rational part of Arthur's brain reminded him that Merlin had never known any different. Embarrassment flushed over Merlin as he realised he had gotten the wrong idea, and Arthur noticing the boy's discomfort automatically tried to sooth him. "Don't worry Merlin; it will take some time to adjust after living like _that_ for so long."

They sat next to each other for a little while longer, Arthur asking questions about Merlin's magic and Merlin either answered them with words of he showed the young prince. Arthur was in awe of the young warlock, Merlin commanded respect the second his blue eyes flashed gold and he couldn't understand why he let himself be abused for years. When he had asked the young man had looked down at his wrists, "Valiant had the help of a sorceress, I don't know her name but she was beautiful; long midnight coloured hair and green eyes and she was dressed like a princess every time I saw her." Arthur bristled at the obvious appreciation that Merlin showed for this woman, but Merlin, unaware of Arthur's distress, continued. "She was cold and unforgiving and when she first looked at me… she terrified me. And she hurt me in a way that no one else could. She created two bracelets, silver and gold with a dragon scale in each, and then she welded them to my wrists. They stopped my magic, and without it… I had no will to even blink most of the time. It was like having a part of me cut out, I could never get comfortable, it always felt as if my skin was crawling and I felt so hollow and empty. She took a part of me that day." Merlin paused, whipping the tears from his face as he shared the last part of his story "I got them off a week ago, I don't know why or how but it was like my magic knew something better was coming and they just fell away, that's where Valiant and I were headed when we ran into you, to get the witch to put them back on." Arthur's mind was reeling; they were in Camelot, they were searching for a witch _in_ Camelot.

"Merlin, you have to promise me that if you ever see her that you will tell me okay, now we have to get going, my 'hunting trip' has already been longer than expected and if we stay any longer then my farther will start to fret."

When Merlin tried to stand he had collapsed back down onto the ground with a howl of pain as many of his cuts were ripped open again, so Arthur soothed him before wrapping him in the cape and hoisting the teen back into his arms where he promptly fell asleep. Arthur knew that he would regret carrying the youth back to Camelot In the morning but at that moment he didn't seem to care as the feeling of having Merlin pressed against his chest was something that he was not likely to give up quickly.

As he strode towards Camelot with the boy in his arms, Arthur's thoughts were not filled of his duties, of Merlin's pain or the impending wrath of his father, he found himself thinking of the different things he could show Merlin. People, places, foods, games, activities and anything else the boy wanted to do and Arthur suddenly realised that he wasn't excited to do these things himself; he just wanted to teach Merlin about everything he missed out on.

As Arthur closed his heavy chamber doors he sighed in relief, trust the day that the prince had reason to be sneaky to be the one day all of the guards were actually doing their jobs.

It was strange seeing the young boy in his chambers after living off only what the forest provided, suddenly having all that they wanted at their fingertips was... Strange. After setting the youth down behind his changing screen Arthur called a few of the maids to fetch bandages, food and a bath. Obviously the servants thought that all of it was for the prince after his hunting trip but all the blonde was having was some food, knowing that Merlin would also be hungry he stopped the closest maid and asked her to fetch double the amount of food, happy knowing that everyone would only think he had missed a couple I meals on his trip.

After all of the servants had left, Arthur locked the door and walked back over to the screen to find Merlin awake, curled into the corner looking frightened and scared; considering the last time Merlin had been conscious they had been in the forest, the blonde could understand his discomfort. "It's okay Merlin, we're back in Camelot and you're in my room. I've had he servants draw you a bath and there is food, which would you like first?" Arthur asked not wanting to make the boy uncomfortable.  
>"Can I eat first, sire?" Merlin asked, he couldn't ever remember being in a house, the lack of openness was beginning to make the boy feel slightly claustrophobic.<p>

Merlin stood clutching the cloak to his body as he followed Arthur over to the table. At first Merlin didn't really understand, the table was covered in plates and bowels of all different shapes and sizes, full of multicoloured things that Merlin could only assume was food. "I don't know what most of this is." Merlin said feeling very self conscious. Arthur was shocked for a moment before he regained his composure.  
>"Don't worry, I'll show you." Arthur said pulling him over to the first plate and handing him a green ball "Do you know what this is?" Arthur asked and Merlin raised his eyebrow as if to say 'what do you think?' the prince picked up his own taking a large bite, chewing and swallowing before saying to the boy "This is an apple." Merlin gingerly lifted his own apple to his mouth before taking a small bite, his face scrunched up in distaste but he forced himself to swallow, frowning the entire time. He replaced the apple on the table before whipping his mouth on his arm.<br>"Bitter." Merlin explained as Arthur laughed, clutching his sides at the expression on his face.  
>"Apples are a no then," Arthur said his laughter dying off. He handed the brunette a piece of meat and as Merlin took a bite Arthur explained that it was deer. Merlin seemed to enjoy the deer more and the prince came to the conclusion that Merlin and Valiant had lived off what they could get and luxuries such as fruit and sweets could not be afforded. The thought saddened him and he let Merlin have free choice of the food before grabbing his own.<p>

As Arthur sat at the head of the table eating his food, Merlin sat to his right side, a strange look of child-like joy on his face as he explored new tastes and textures; Merlin had recognised bread, all of the meats apart from chicken, potatoes and carrots as well as mint and parsnips. The best moment for the prince had to have been when Merlin discovered strawberries; he was wary of the fruit when he first picked it up, so Arthur, pretending not to notice the boys predicament, picked up us own strawberry and bit into it leaving the green leaves and stalk in his fingers. Merlin watched the prince before copying his actions, Merlin defiantly liked strawberries, he'd groaned low in his throat when he tasted the fruit and Arthur hadn't been able to get the sound out of his head since. "What we these called?" Merlin had asked as Arthur stared at him.  
>"They're called strawberries." he'd explained and then he watched Merlin try word out on his own lips.<br>"Strawberries." he said quietly before speaking up "I like strawberries." he exclaimed as Arthur nodded, encouraging the boy to take another, the prince didn't touch the strawberries again that night, he let Merlin finish the plate, getting much more enjoyment from watching the boy eating that he ever could from eating the fruit himself.

Once they had finished eating Arthur walked Merlin over to the tub, supporting him. Arthur was not surprised to find the water had cooled significantly but with a flash of gold in his eyes and a whispered incantation Merlin heated the water to a slightly hotter temperature than Arthur normally bathed in. "Ready?" Arthur had asked, and Merlin had nodded slightly before he carefully folded the cloak and set it down on the side of the tub. Arthur gathered the now naked boy into his arms and gently placed him in the tub. Merlin sighed when the water surrounded his aching muscles when he sunk into the tub.

"You have a lot of scars." Arthur said quietly, looking over the scars that were littering the boy's body. They criss-crossed all over his him. Merlin looked down self conscious of his previous wounds; he'd never had he opportunity to worry over his appearance when he was with Valiant but now sitting next to Arthur he felt somewhat inadequate, underdressed (not literally).  
>"Valiant use-" Merlin started but Arthur cut him off.<br>"Now is not the time." Arthur murmured gently handing Merlin a cloth to wash himself with. Merlin started with his legs working his way up to his calves, his groin and then his chest and finally his arms. Arthur moved behind Merlin with some soap as he started to wash and untangle the warlock's matted, dirty hair. After the prince had finished working his way through the knots in the brunette's hair he lifted Merlin up and dried him off with a towel. He then retrieved the salve Gaius had left for his cuts and scrapes, he rubbed it all over Merlin's injuries before bandaging them tightly, allowing them the chance to heal.

"There." Arthur said as he smoothed the last bandage down.

"Thank you, Arthur." Arthur was shocked that the boy used his name but recovered quickly, now realising that Merlin always did what he least expected, the joy, although not shown outwardly, was indescribable; maybe Merlin wanted to be friends too. Merlin's heart was beating wildly when he realised that he had called Arthur by his first name, he didn't understand why but it felt right after everything the prince had done for him. Seeing the look on the prince's face, though, quickly reassured Merlin that he had made a mistake.

After the young boy was wrapped once again in the cloak and sat on the corner of Arthur's bed, the prince strode over to his wardrobe and pulled out one of his sleeping shirts and breeches from about three or four years ago. He helped Merlin pull them on before he stood back to look at the boy; the sleeves were a good thirty centimetres too long and you could have fit two Merlins inside of the body of the shirt. The trousers were just a little too long, Arthur stepped forward rolling both sleeves up before telling him to lie back and sleep.

"But this is your bed, sire." Merlin had protested, but Arthur jus shook his head, disappointed that the boy had reverted back to using formal titles.

"Your room does not yet have a bed, and with your wounds you can't sleep on the floor and unless you mind I can just sleep next to you again." Arthur finished nervously, worried that the only reason Merlin had slept next to him in the forest was for warmth. Merlin blushed looking down.

"I don't mind, sire." Arthur smiled before climbing into the bed and pulling the covers over both of them.

"Goodnight, sire." Merlin whispered quietly. Arthur smiled pulling the young boy flush against his chest, holding them together.

"Goodnight, Merlin."

**What did you think, please review and happy New Year. If you spot any mistakes please tell me so I can correct it. Thanks. **

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	5. Chapter Five: Nightmares

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin unfortunately; the BBC does.**

**First of all I just want to say 'thank you', I got loads of reviews for the last chapter and loads of pointers for what needed to be fixed. A few people asked questions so I just thought I'd answer them, and I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, I've had exams the past few weeks and I have been revising at every available opportunity. **

superbored85: "Nice touch explaining why Merlin couldn't use magic but I couldn't help but wonder how he knew magical words. (You mentioned that he had been slave for a long time).

**Truthfully I hadn't really thought of this when I was writing but I think I wanted Merlin's abilities with magic to be more natural and assertive than anything else. Merlin, as a character in this story, is very unsure of everything and is often worried or scared and I want him to have one aspect of his life that he is sure of.**

Merthur Dreamer: "How many chapters do you think 'Learning how to live and to breathe' will have?"

** I'm not entirely sure how many chapters this story is going to have because I don't know where this story is going or how it is going to end. I will sit down and figure it out eventually and then post how many chapters it's going to be in one of my author's notes.**

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><p>Arthur woke in the middle of the night, freezing cold and alone. He sat up, wiping the sleep from his eyes and stretching, allowing his muscles to pop. Realising that Merlin wasn't next to him, Arthur looked around the room quickly realising that the balcony doors were open and letting in the harsh autumn air. Padding slowly over to the doors Arthur wondered why Merlin had left the bed; perhaps he was too warm. Walking over to the balcony Arthur shivered, the cold wrapped it's self around him and he couldn't help but think that it was only Merlin he would freeze his ass off for. The balcony was small, only two square meters with a waist high ridge made of concrete that was about fifty centre-meters wide. It was with his back against wall sat on the ridge that Arthur found Merlin; the moonlight soaked his skin leaving him looking pale and beautiful, blue eyes bored into his as the prince looked at the warlock.<br>"I was worried." Arthur said quietly, walking to stand beside the warlock, wrapping his arm around the boys shoulder and leaning against the wall. Merlin sighed and lent against the prince resting his head on his chest.  
>"I'm sorry Arthur." Merlin whispered, and the blonde had a feeling that he wasn't apologising for waking him up.<br>"What for Merlin, you haven't done anything wrong." Arthur said quietly, not understanding why the warlock was so sad. Merlin was safe now; he had nothing to worry about.  
>"I'm sorry that I woke you, I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough, I'm sorry that I wasn't brave enough and I'm sorry that I'm broken because I don't think I can ever be fixed." tears were streaming down Merlin's face, soaking Arthur's shirt. Arthur clutched the boy closer to his chest, tears welling up in his own eyes; he didn't understand.<br>"I don't unders-" the prince started but Merlin cut him off.  
>"You can't fix me Arthur; I'm not a piece of armour that can just be welded up again. I'm never going to be good enough." Merlin jumped down off the ridge and walked over to the front of the balcony, resting his elbows on the stone and placing his head in his hands. "All I that I can remember about my life is pain and hurt and dark, I was alone and I had no one. I have <em>magic<em>, Arthur. I don't belong here, not with you, not with anyone. It's illegal, i could be killed, _ you_ could be killed for harboring me." Merlin spun around to face the blonde, shocked to find tears running down his royal face.  
>"Please Merlin, don't." Arthur frowned, "I know this is hard for you and it must be difficult, but you can't just leave, you have nowhere to go." Arthur walked over to Merlin, approaching him as one would a wild animal. Embracing the boy Arthur took a deep breath as the warlock buried his face in his neck. "Now," Arthur said quietly, bringing one hand down to run his fingers through the brunette's hair, the soft texture of the strands comforting him. "Are you going to tell me why you're out here, in the freezing cold in the middle of the night?" he asked hoping that the youth would confide in him. Merlin shivered, as if only just noticing the near freezing temperature. Arthur pulled Merlin closer, he had a strong feeling he wasn't going to like what the brunette said.<p>

"I had a nightmare..." Merlin paused for a second before continuing "About the first time Valiant r-" Merlin stopped the word refusing to come out of his mouth.  
>"Go on." Arthur encouraged, still stroking the boys hair hoping it was giving him the same comfort it was him. Merlin needed to acknowledge what happened to him.<br>"It was after I met Valiant and it was the first time he..." Merlin tried to continue but instead he let out a huge breath and began sobbing into the princes top mumbling "I cant, I can't, please I can't." over and over again. Arthur shushed he boy knowing all to well how upsetting reliving events in dreams could be.  
>"I'm sorry Merlin, you don't have to say it, okay." the blonde sank to the floor pulling the boy into his lap and rocking him back and forth, and whispering "I'm sorry."<p>

After a while Arthur realised that the boy he was rocking in his arms was fast asleep so he lifted him and gently placed him in the large bed. After stroking the dark hair from his friend's brow Arthur walked over to his wardrobe and dressed before grabbing the torch from the wall and making his way out of his room and towards the dungeons. Arthur, as a boy had been told many stories about the great dragon, about how his father hunted all of the dragons, killing them although they had done nothing wrong, but the part of the story he remembered most was how he had been told that the greatest of all of the dragons had been trapped to prove a point. Arthur had visited the great dragon once before when he was only six, he had told no one and had run crying from the dungeons the second he had seen the creature. Now, as he descended the steps he was vaguely aware of the childhood fear lurking behind his arrogant armour.

The cave was massive; Arthur had never imagined that a room so big could have existed, but then remembering the size of the dragon he imagined the room to have little leg room for the beast. Arthur stood self-consciously for a moment; how do you address a dragon? Finally he settled on a weak "Hello?" that echoed in to every corner of the cave. The prince heard nothing in response and frowned to himself before realising that his call must have been to quiet, he gathered his strength and courage before trying again "Hello?" he was greeted promptly by the sound of wings beating the air mercilessly.

The dragon was spectacular; wings twice the length of the prince's height and paper thin; the scales that covered his muscles were all shades of green and they glinted in the small amount of sun that could was falling through a hole in the roof. His face was heavy and dark as he glared at the prince, teeth the size of swords bared and ready to defend. Arthur noted curiously that the dragon's eyes were the same colour as Merlin's when he used magic. The dragon frowned before speaking, his voice deep as it ricocheted of every corner of the cavern. "I never expected to see you here again, young Pendragon." Arthur swallowed before looking the beast in the eyes and responding.

"I never expected to see you again either."

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><p><strong>Please Review x<strong>


	6. Chapter Six: Training

**Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC.**

**Hey, sorry for the wait. Exams. Homework. Exams. Hope you like it and as always please take the time to review, it literally makes my day.**

Arthur frowned as he struggled with the clasp on his right gauntlet; he was good at many things, but doing up buckles with his left hand was not one of them, he was not ambidextrous. Merlin watched from the corner of the room, appraising the blonde as he struggled. Pitying the prince, Merlin walked over to him and very gently moved the blonde's hand away from the buckle replacing it with his own. Arthur stopped muttering under his breath when he felt Merlin's warm hands cover his; every point where Merlin touched Arthur left a trail of tingly warmth that settled deep in his bones.  
>"Here, let me." Merlin whispered quietly, fastening the clasp with his deft fingers. Arthur watched, breathing erratic as the brunette swiftly did it up and moved to the next arm, quietly and without fuss.<br>"Merlin," Arthur mumbled, capturing the boy's attention once he was finished. "Thank you." he said linking his fingers with Merlins, joining their hands together. He prayed that Merlin would realise that he wasn't only saying thank you for helping him. He was thanking him for doing something without prompt and not finishing his sentence with sire.  
>Merlin grimaced, Arthur assumed he was trying to smile, but before Arthur could ask what was wrong Merlin released his hand and moved away, muttering in a small voice "It's my duty sire." <p>

Arthur smirked before swiping again, this time striking Gwaine's shield with his sword. The older man went flying backwards before landing in a heap on the ground. Arthur could feel the sweat dripping from his face, plastering his hair to his neck and collecting in the fabric of his undershirt. Although he was training (one of his favourite activities) he wasn't excited or having fun; none of the knights held any challenge for him anymore, he knew their tactics, their methods, and their weaknesses. He placed the tip of the melee sword against Gwaine's neck before asking "Do you yield?"  
>Gwain gasped as pain ricocheted through his shoulder, willing the prince to get off. Choking out a "Yes sire." he scrambled from under the prince, clutching at his shoulder. Leon was in charge of the daily training, as Arthur's left-hand man, the responsibility of looking after all of the knights fell to him if the prince had other duties. Seeing the state of Gwain he ran over to him, assessing the damage caused by the prince.<br>"Fetch Gaius." he barked at Percival before looking around trying to find the prince. Finding him nowhere, Leon looked at the other knights seeing equal looks of confusion in everyone's eyes. Turning his attention, once again to Gwain, he looked at the man and assessed the damage "I think it's dislocated."

He slammed the door shut and launched his gauntlets at the wall, flinching when the crash echoed around his chambers. His anger and frustration was palpable, rolling off him in waves surrounding everyone and everything he touched. Arthur felt agitated. Every time he tried to think whilst training he got angry; a fierce burning anger that consumed him. What would have happened if Merlin had have known how to defend himself? Was Merlin forced to go with those men or did he know them?

There were so many questions that Arthur wanted answered, questions that Merlin himself didn't know the answers to. Arthur sighed and flopped down on his bed, there was nothing he could do now.

Merlin had been in the servants quarters adjoined to Arthur's chambers when he had heard he crash from the other room. Merlin's heart had fluttered in panic, who was there? He walked up to his door and peered curiously through the key hole, seeing no one Merlin stepped out of the room, not before muttering a timid "Forbaerne." Allowing the fire to rest in the palm of his hand Merlin stepped through the threshold joining the two rooms.  
>He walked over to the Arthur's wardrobe which was slightly open and took a deep breath, gathering his courage. He pulled the door open quickly with his left hand (the one not holding the fire) and sighed when he realised nothing was in there. But his relief was short lived ad he felt an arm wrap around his chest and another seize his had that was maintaining the fire. He gasped and kicked as tears instantly appeared in his eyes, he couldn't go through this again.<br>"Merlin, what are you doing." Arthur hissed, loosening his grip as he noticed the younger boy's discomfort. Merlin turned in the prince's arms and let the fire dissipate before clinging to the prince and resting his face in the blonde's neck.

"Arthur, I was scared." Merlin whispered as the tears flowed from his eyes and soaked the prince's skin. Arthur wrapped his arms around his friend and pulled him closer.

"I am sorry Merlin." He sighed and pulled Merlin over to the bed, he felt guilty. He should have known how Merlin would have reacted when he did that, it's just when he saw him using magic like that. _Anyone_ could have walked in, and just because Arthur didn't think magic was evil didn't mean his father didn't. Uther would have executed Merlin without a trial.

Arthur frowned as he settled on the bed pulling Merlin onto his lap, willing his tears to stop falling. "I'm sorry." he repeated, running his hands through the young boy's hair. Merlin sniffed loudly before replying.  
>"s'okay, s'not your fault." he said, voice tired. Arthur lay back and pulled Merlin to his side so that he brunette was draped over the left of his body. "Are you tired, how was training?" Merlin asked snuggling deeper into Arthur's embrace.<br>"I'm not too bad, a nap would be nice and I think I broke Gwaine's arm." Arthur finished quietly, ashamed of his behaviour earlier. Merlin looked up at Arthur, resting his chin on the prince's chest.

"Who's Gwaine?" Merlin asked.

"One of my knights, we were training and I was in a bad mood, I pushed him to hard and I think I broke his arm." Arthur explained as his cheeks coloured with embarrassment. Merlin sighed and rested his cheek, once again in the blonde's neck. "I am sorry I scared you earlier Merlin." Arthur apologised kissing the top of Merlin's hair.

"Well, I guess I need to learn not to jump at the wind if I am ever to leave your chambers." He teased before kissing the blonde's neck. "Goodnight Arthur." He said before snuggling closer into his friend's side and closing his eyes.

"Sleep well Merlin." Arthur whispered back, feeling complete and content for the first time that day. He sunk into Merlin's embrace and closed his eyes, drifting off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

**Did you like it? Review please, any guesses as to what's going to happen next chapter?**


	7. Chapter Seven: Leaving

**Hi, sorry for the wait, I'm officially going to try and write more. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I know it isn't very long but…**

**Please review : )**

Over the next few weeks Merlin and Arthur settled into a routine; Merlin would wake first and restart the fire before settling back into bed wrapped around Arthur. He would wait for the prince to wake before he set about pulling the blonde out of the bed, as it turns out Arthur is not a morning person. The pair would then dress each other before Arthur called in a servant to retrieve two portions of breakfast from the kitchen as Merlin hid behind the changing screen. After breakfast Arthur would leave for training and Merlin would stay in what Arthur had affectionately dubbed as 'their' chambers. They would reunite in the evenings where they would both bathe, Merlin would then sit on the thick sheep skin rug by the fire sharpening Arthur's sword and the prince finished various articles of paperwork. Usually the sorcerer would fall asleep on the rug and so the prince would hoist him into his arms and lay the sleeping boy on his bed, before undressing him and pulling back the sheets. He would then undress himself and lie back; pulling Merlin so that he was lay over the left of his body. Most nights, at this point, Merlin would stir and snuggle closer to Arthur, seeking warmth, so the prince would tug the covers up, surrounding them both before kissing the warlocks temple and drifting asleep.

On the third day of Merlin's third week in Camelot it all changed.

The cheerful, witty boy Arthur had come to know in the past few weeks had all but vanished. The prince didn't really see the big deal; it was only for a couple of days, four at the most.

"I won't be gone long." He explains to the young boy, watching him carefully, trying to understand his reaction.

"Yes." Merlin replied not really having heard the question. His mind was to busy calculating all of the terrible, horrible, _degrading_ things that could happen to him if Arthur went away. Arthur was the only thing keeping Merlin safe, what would happed if someone walked into his chambers and saw him? What would he do without food for _four days? _Actually, never mind that, what would he do without Arthur for _four days. _He tried the whole sleeping-in-the-servants-quarters-alone thing and it hadn't worked out well. He had woken up in the middle of the night tears streaming down his cheeks with Arthur's arms wrapped tightly around him trying to calm him. They hadn't tried the sleeping alone thing since.

Arthur frowned, unsure of Merlin's answer, what did yes mean? "So I'm leaving now." Arthur said wrapping his arms around Merlin's bony body, kissing the top of the boy's soft, dark brown hair. "I'll miss you."

Snapping out of his trance Merlin pushed the blonde, watching with satisfaction as he stumbled back, bracing himself on the table. "No, you _can't just leave." _He hissed at the prince. Arthur sighed, embracing the reaction he'd expected.

"Merlin I know it will be diffic-" he started but the brunette cut him off.

"NO, you _don't_ _understand. _I was alone for so long Arthur, you can't leave me now." Arthur grimaced at the reminder of the state Merlin had been in. "Please Arthur, please."

"Merlin, I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do. My father expects me to leave; I have a responsibility to my knights and to Camelot." Arthur justified, leaving out the part about actually wanting to go. It wasn't that he was fed up of Merlin, he just needed to stretch his legs, he hadn't left the citadel since he and Merlin had returned from the forest, and truth be told he was a little fed up.

"I'll accompany you then." Arthur sighed; he had expected Merlin to be difficult but he hadn't expected this, he didn't want Merlin to spend his entire week uncomfortable and edgy. He could imagine the boisterous teasing and sexual innuendoes that the knights would make, not truly understanding the implications of their teasing.

"No Merlin, I have talked to Gaius already, you will stay here in this room and Gaius will bring you anything you require, he will visit three times a day. As he is court physician he will also be checking and attending to your wounds, making sure they are healed." Arthur explained, hoping that Merlin would realise how difficult this situation was for him; he wanted Merlin with him at all times, he felt as if he couldn't breathe when the brunette wasn't around but he couldn't let his father know of his existence until the warlock had gained enough confidence to be integrated into society.

"You told someone about me?" Merlin frowned, edging backwards. Arthur had betrayed him; he could be _killed_ if Uther found out, and the prince didn't seem to care.

"Merlin, it's not like that, we can trust Gaius." Arthur pleaded, wanting the brunette to understand. "I have known him since I was a baby."

"_Trust?" _Merlin hissed out the word as if it were dirty, anger filling him completely. "I have been abused and beaten my entire life, then you come along and save me only to betray me to a man who is more than likely going to have me killed. You want me to _trust_ him… _to trust you_?"

Arthur, under any other circumstances would have found Merlin's emotional breakthrough nothing short of a miracle (he was finally expressing his feelings), but considering the anger that the younger boy was hurtling at him he decided that his pride would have to wait until later.

"Merlin, Gaius is literally part of my family, he wouldn't-" Arthur started to explain only, once again, to be cut off by the livid warlock.

"Go Arthur Pendragon, have fun on your hunt, and pray by whatever god may exist, that I am still here by the time you get back, or that I am even alive." Merlin spat before striding over to the window and gazing out, taking deep breaths in the hopes of calming his rage. Feeling as if, for the first time in his entire life, he was being dismissed Arthur sighed and walked dejectedly towards the door. Turning one last time to look at the brunette he let a single tear fall down his cheek.

"I'll be back soon." he muttered, waiting a minute to see if Merlin would acknowledge him. When the boy didn't turn Arthur retrieved his sword and bow from the table before leaving his quarters and slamming the door on his way out, he wiped his face angrily, ashamed at the weakness that the tear represented. _Future kings shouldn't cry over anything, grow up, _his fathers voice rang in his ears as he strode angrily towards the armoury and his waiting knights.

Merlin flinched gently as the door slammed, a few tears leaking out of his eyes. Deep down Merlin knew that shouting at Arthur then was unjust and unfair but he wasn't going to admit it. Arthur couldn't have left him on his own or taken him with him so Gaius was the only logical option, and he had to go on this trip; Arthur had been missing enough official events over the last couple of weeks and if he wasn't careful Uther would become suspicious. He sighed before sinking down to the floor with his back against the wall. A few more tears leaked out of his eyes as he recalled the harsh words he had thrown at Arthur. The prince was quite possibly the best thing that had ever happened to the warlock and how did he repay him? By hurling insults at him and threatening to leave.

When he had threatened to leave he knew it had been an empty threat, he would never leave Arthur, the brunette needed the prince like he needed air to breathe. Arthur's company and companionship meant more than the world to the brunette. But then it dawned on him, what if Arthur actually thought he was going to leave? Guilt swamped him, Arthur was going to spend his entire trip worrying over him, if he was okay, if Gaius had remembered to see to him, if he had been sleeping well and to top it all off, he wouldn't even know if he would be there when he got back. Shrinking further into the freezing stone floor Merlin cried and cried until he couldn't cry any more and then he just lay there, shivering and in pain (the wounds on his back were not yet fully healed and lying on the floor had aggravated them) with one thought running through his head; _what if Arthur didn't want him to be there when he got back?_


	8. Chapter Eight: Contemplation

**Disclaimer: the BBC owns Merlin and all of its characters, I just like messing with them.**

**Hi all, here is chapter eight. I hope you like it, please review.**

Gaius walked slowly to the prince's chambers, his old arthritic joints aching with each step through the cold castle corridors. When Arthur had explained the situation to him he hadn't really believed the prince, but upon seeing the sincerity radiating from the prince's face Gaius had no choice but to believe him. He had delivered the prince when the lady Ygraine was giving birth and had know the boy ever since, one perk of knowing someone that long is that you can tell if and when they are lying. Whilst Arthur was telling him the story of the boy Merlin, Gaius had sat there with a comforting hand on the prince's shoulder, allowing him to express what he'd been holding in for the past few weeks, he hadn't seen the prince cry since the incident with his dog, but as he recalled the state he had found the young warlock in he had wept freely onto the physician's shoulder.

Finally reaching the heavy oak door Gaius knocked gingerly, waiting for a response. After a few seconds with no response Gaius realised that the prince had already left on his hunting trip a few hours ago so he wouldn't be answering and the boy Merlin wouldn't answer out of fear. Pushing the large door open Gaius stepped in with his medical back on his shoulder before closing and locking the door behind him. Gaius' eyes scanned the room looking for any trace of the slight boy that Arthur had described and found what he was looking for curled on the cold, stone floor near the window. "Oh no." he murmured to himself before striding as quickly as he could over to the teen. "Merlin, are you okay?" he directed the question at the brunette before kneeling, not without difficulty, on to the ground next to the boy.

Gaius placed his hands on the boy's neck; he was freezing cold but luckily still breathing. He shook the boy's shoulders harshly, having no patients for the solid stone floor. Gains had no chance of moving the boy alone and he had promised the prince that he wouldn't tell anyone of Merlin's existence, Arthur was like a son to him and he wasn't about to betray him.  
>Merlin groaned as he was shook awake, today's events flooding back into his brain. Pulling himself up off the floor he opened his eyes and flinched as the harsh daylight assaulted them.<br>"Merlin?" Gaius muttered placing a hand on the brunette's back, trying to support the rigid teen. Merlin flinched as Gaius' hand rested on the now reopened wounds on his back. "Oh." the older man frowned before removing his hand and standing up shakily. He plodded gingerly over to the table before opening has medical back and setting a few items on the table. Gaius turned back to the boy before smirking and saying "In your own time then." Merlin blushed before standing up, his joints protesting against the movement. He walked over to the table and sat in the chair that Gaius had pulled out. "Lean forward and remove your shirt please." Gaius asked as he pulled a stopper from a jar, the crème inside of said jar looking remarkably similar to the one Arthur had used previously.  
>"Are you Gaius?" Merlin questioned leaning forward and complying with the physician's request.<br>"Yes." he said carefully applying the slave with deft fingers that indicated years of practice. Merlin winced gently as it stung slightly. Gaius wrapped bandages tightly around Merlins torso, trying not to think of the actions that caused the injuries. The poor boy; Arthur had told him little of the boy's past, indicating only that he had been abused for a long time. He was so proud of the man Arthur had become, taking in a boy and looking after him wanting noting in return, it was especially good of Arthur considering what utter would do if he found out. Well, Gaius mused thinking back to the way Arthur had talked about the teen; perhaps he wanted something in return. It was clear as day to anyone with common sense that Arthur was head over heels for the boy even if he didn't know it himself yet. Gaius had no doubt that the prince would do nothing to hurt the boy, but he still wondered if their relationship would end well whatever form it may take.  
>"Oh," Merlin responded, still worried about what the physician would do about him. "And are you okay with what Arthur told you about me, you won't tell the king?" Merlin asked the uncertainty of the future regarding his magic was eating him alive.<br>"It wasn't your fault." the old man responded, wanting the youth to know that he wouldn't judge him because he was abused.  
>"Thanks." Merlin responded, feeling slightly more comfortable with the arrangement now that he knew Gaius didn't mind. However, he was still very annoyed with Arthur for telling the physician about his gifts.<br>"I'm glad your okay with it, you're the only person other than Arthur who knows about my magic." Merlin said. Suddenly, from behind him, Merlin heard a loud crash and a gasp before a hand gripped his shoulder tightly, causing him to cry out.  
>"You have magic?" Gaius gasped and then Merlin understood what Arthur was trying to explain, the old man knew nothing of his gifts and he'd just signed his own death warrant.<p>

Arthur was tired; him and the nights had rode out of Camelot and headed east, travelling hours away from the city in hopes of finding larger game. Having found nothing since leaving the Citadel, Arthur ordered the knights to set up camp before night fell stating that 'if they hadn't found any game by noon tomorrow they would return to the castle'. Many of the knights had looked disgruntled at this idea, Arthur suspected their pride would be wounded greatly if they returned after three days empty handed.

Arthur would normally be the most upset about their lack of success but with thoughts of Merlin speeding around his head he found it very hard to care about anything. The brunette had got the wrong idea when he assumed that he had told Gaius of his magic. Arthur trusted the physician, perhaps more than his own father, but he wouldn't risk Merlin like that; the boy was perhaps the only friend the prince had ever had and he wouldn't risk anything that could get the boy taken from him.

Arthur had tried to repress the thoughts he had had about the brunette when they first met for many reasons. First, Merlin clearly wasn't looking for and didn't need a relationship at this exact moment in time; he needed chance to heal and sort through everything that happened to him without feeling pressured into a relationship.

Secondly, Arthur wasn't even sure if Merlin liked him and he wasn't going to say anything about his feelings unless he was sure that Merlin felt the same way. Arthur had sometimes heard the younger man call out in the night, muttering things like "I'm sorry" and "I owe you" no doubt referring to the fact that_ Valiant_ had looked after him for most of his life (albeit, not very well). He didn't want Merlin feeling like he owed him; he didn't want Merlin to love him back out of some weird sense of obligation.

Third, Arthur had finally admitted to himself at least, that he loved Merlin but what kind of love it was he wasn't sure. The prince had never experienced love; his farther had been to busy grieving his mother to love him as a child. All of his nannies and previous servants had suffered him because they were paid and although all of the knights had always respected him he lacked the ability to befriend them. Growing up Arthur had always had a lot of pressure on him to be the next king, pressure set by his people, his father and most importantly himself. He had grown up very quickly and often found no humour in the knights crude and offensive banter; feeling far to responsible for them to actually join in with their playfulness.

So the lack of any close relationships had damaged Arthur more than he liked to admit; he couldn't remember ever feeling love for anyone or anything. He knew that every time he saw Merlin his heart fluttered and his throat closed up, he would automatically calm if he was in the presence of the brunette, Merlin gave Arthur a new perspective on life, offering him a different way to look at things. He felt completely and honestly content and peaceful when he was with the warlock the only problem was he didn't know whether he loved Merlin or if he was _in love_ with Merlin.

Fifth, Merlin had magic. Arthur had known for a long time that he disagreed with his fathers views on almost everything to do with the running of the kingdom, especially his views on magic. He liked to think of magic as a sword; used by the right person it could do good things, like liberate a community or destroy an evil beast, but in the wrong hands it could create a dictator or destroy innocents. Meaning that it was the user of magic that was evil not the actual magic. Arthur found it very hard to believe that Merlin was evil, in fact the thought of Merlin harming anything made him want to laugh. Recalling the great dragons words, Arthur felt more content with his decision that magic and more specifically Merlin, wasn't evil _"You and the warlock are two sided of the same coin, destined to stay together, neither will succeed without the other by their side."_

The last reason was the one that feared the prince the most and it could be summed up in two words; Uther Pendragon. His fathers distaste for homosexuality (assuming for a moment that he was actually in love with Merlin) was no secret, he had already removed two knights from his immediate presence after discovering that they preferred men and Arthur dreaded to think what his father would do if he discovered that his only son had spent so many of his teenage years training with the knights because they turned him on more than any of the women at court ever had. His father had no problem expressing his disappointment in his only son and Arthur really didn't want to disappoint him again.

Arthur was pulled from his musings as Leon placed a hand on his shoulder. The prince had been sat quite far away from the group, on his own in the shadows as the rest of the group sat around the campfire laughing.

"Are you okay sire?" Leon asked removing his hand from the prince's shoulder; he always worried about the prince. Arthur was nine years his junior and had always struggled more than most with relating to the other Knights.

"Fine Leon," Arthur asked suddenly defensive; he felt as if Leon could tell his thoughts just by looking at him, his worries and his fears. "Shouldn't you be relaxing with the others?"

Leon bowed lightly, muttering "Very well sire." Before returning to the others at the campfire, the prince watched as the older man sat down at the fire and immediately joined in with the conversation.

Arthur sagged against the tree, his thoughts calmed after ranting to himself but his adrenaline running high after Leon's unwelcome interruption. Sighing to himself he frowned, _what am I going to do? _Thinking for a while Arthur finally came to a conclusion, tomorrow whether they found something to hunt or not he was going to return to Camelot and pour his very confused heart out to Merlin, in hopes that he will understand. Before coming up with a plan to integrate Merlin into the community and then he would make sure that the warlock never left him again, whether they were lovers or just friends. And he made a vow for himself as well, he promised that he would never abandon Merlin, and he would never mistreat him and he would be everything that the warlock could want.


	9. Chapter Nine: Apology

**Disclaimer: the BBC owns Merlin and all of its plots and characters; I just like messing with them : )**

**I feel like I'm neglecting this story and I promise I will try harder in the future to make updates regular. Sorry. **

Arthur groaned as he dismounted the horse, he'd pushed the knights and the horses to try and make sure they would get back to Camelot sooner, back to Merlin. The prince can't remember feeling the downsides to horse-riding as much as he did right now, but he couldn't help but think it was worth it to be back with Merlin. "George." Arthur said gently summoning the young stable hand over to him, the young boy was in his mid-teens and had worked around the castle for about a year now.

"Yes sire?"

"See to it that my horse is tended to and that my armour has been cleaned, the dirt and the rain did it no good and we can't have it rusting, may you please ask Alice to have the larger bath tub filled in my chambers and double my usual evening meal sent to my room, thank you George."

Arthur spoke briskly, without even glancing at the boy before striding off towards his chambers, his boots pounding the stone with punishing force. He was angry at himself; angry at himself for loving Merlin, for being unable to interact and maintain friendships with his peers and most importantly for being unable to admit to his farther that he was gay.

Arthur was in love with the gangly, broken teen and he had missed him so much, the hunting trip had been a complete waste of time and the fact that he'd left Merlin for nothing was eating away at him. He shouldn't have left, maybe if he hadn't left they wouldn't have argued, they could be lay in bed right now, wrapped around each other, arguing about who was getting up first and what they wanted for breakfast.

He knew that his farther would want to discuss the hunting trip and spend a couple of hours lecturing him about how much of a disappointment he was to him and all of Camelot in front of the entire council, but he walked right past the council chambers and the throne room, heading straight towards his rooms. He paused before the doors, nervousness creeping up on him, what if Merlin didn't want to see him? Pushing aside his insecurities he placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door. Stepping into the room Arthur glanced around at the familiar room and looked for the brunette that had become as much a part of the room as the furniture. Hearing a small noise behind him Arthur spun around quickly, eyes searching for the cause of the disruption. He wasn't able to look far before he was ploughed into by a large, solid object that sent the prince stumbling back a couple of paces, trying to regain his balance.

It was when the solid object wrapped around him that Arthur knew it was Merlin. The teen had tightened his limbs around the prince, his legs constricting his waste and his arms wrapped around the blonde's neck in an effort to get them as close as possible as soon as possible. The brunette buried his face into the prince's neck and sobbed tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Arthur, so sorry." Merlin mumbled to the prince. "Please don't leave me again, I am so sorry." Arthur wrapped his arms around the brunette, crushing the younger boy to his chest. He walked them over to one of the dining chairs where Arthur sat with Merlin on his lap, legs and arms still tightly wrapped around him. Anger and all other negative emotions that he had been harbouring the past few days had disappeared the second the boy had touched him. The prince felt content and at ease with the brunette in his arms, as if Merlin was a missing piece that he needed to be whole.

"Oh I missed you too Merlin." He said pressing his lips firmly against the young boy's temple. He pulled slightly away from Merlin and placed his hands either side of his face, allowing his eyes to evaluate every detail of his face and commit them to memory. How tired Merlin looked was the first thing that Arthur noticed, slight bags under his eyes suggested that he hadn't been sleeping well. His hair had grown ever-so-slightly; it now fell just into his eyes and looked rough and choppy, giving him a very boyish look. His eyes were the same ice blue that Arthur could remember, rimmed slightly with red from the tears but the prince couldn't help but think the boy had never looked better. Arthur's hands moved to Merlin's waist he rejoiced silently as he felt the boy's waist. Merlin had put on some weight, not a large amount but enough that he looked slightly healthier, he still needed to gain a large amount to be considered average or of perfect weight but at the moment Arthur was just pleased with the progress.

The two sat tangled together, breathing each other in for a long time, but it was Merlin who eventually got up, startling Arthur slightly.

"Where are you going?" the blonde demanded, unease and self-doubt creeping into his mind.

"You are coming with me, don't worry." The young boy replied looking uncharacteristically devious.

"_Ar-th-uuuu-r." _Merlin groaned as he tugged the larger man up and pulled him over to the bed. Arthur's mind automatically wondered what it would be like if Merlin was moaning his name for a different reason.

"Y-yes?" Arthur asked, clearing his throat self consciously and scratching the back of his neck with his free hand. The other was currently secured around Merlin's and he didn't think the warlock was going to let it go anytime soon.

"I haven't been able to sleep without you." He said before tugging the prince to the foot of the bed.

Merlin bent down and put his head under the end of the sheets before burrowing his way up to the head of the bed on his hands and knees. Arthur stood static at the foot of the bed apprehensively. He knew sleeping next to Merlin now would be no different to before but for some reason it _felt_ different.

Now that he knew that he was in love with the boy he couldn't help but feel like he was taking advantage in some way.

"I need to get changed." The blonde muttered quietly before escaping behind the changing screen and stripping himself of his clothing. His nightwear was sitting, folded neatly on top of the chain in the corner and he quickly dressed before leaning his head against the cool stone of the wall and wiled his erection away.

It took him a while. He was almost certain Merlin would have already fallen asleep when he left the safety of his corner and perhaps that was why he was so shocked at what he saw when he did leave.

Merlin was stood with his back to the prince, his very naked back. Arthur knew that he was being irrational, he'd seen plenty of the knight's backs before and even some of their fronts, but he couldn't remember ever being effected this much.

Merlin's back was a flawless expanse of creamy while skin. There were scars, but only a few and even they had faded to a pale pink colour, only serving as reminders of his past. The boy's shoulder blades stood out deliciously, as did the bumps of his spine and suddenly Arthur couldn't imagine spending his time doing anything other than tasting every part of the brunette's back.

_I love you, Merlin. _

The words were on the edge of his tongue and he had to bite the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood to convince his heart that blurting it out most likely wasn't the best of ideas.

Arthur sighed as Merlin pulled one of his soft linen shirts over his head and turned holding his arms up, the prince loved seeing Merlin in his clothing, perhaps it was possessiveness or maybe it was just childish amusement at seeing the boy in clothes that were too big. But what ever the case Arthur knew that he would rue the day when he took Merlin to the tailors to be fitted for his own clothes.

He walked over to the boy and gingerly began to roll up the sleeve of the first arm before beginning on the second. Merlin's wrists were another part of the boy that Arthur adored they were so slight and frail looking, representing what Merlin was and is. When he was done he placed both of his hands on the boy's face and tilted his head up before placing a kiss on his forehead.

And with Arthur's silent promise of _never again, _they both climbed under the sheets before falling into an uneventful sleep. Merlin's head resting under the price's chin and his hand twisted in the fabric of Arthur's shirt, with a silent connotation of its own, _don't leave again. _

**Please review. **


	10. Chapter 10: Confrontation

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter and i hope you enjoy reading it:)**

Arthur wasn't really sure what to do, he knew his farther would want to talk to him about his trip but in all honestly he just wanted to talk to Gaius. Arthur had been back for two days now and had been reluctant to leave Merlin's side even for a second; however Merlin had drew the line when the prince wanted to go into the town to quickly check with the outposts about rumours of a beast in the forest. Merlin held no desire to be drug through a crowded town to have to hide somewhere. Unfortunately the plan of getting Arthur to let go of him hadn't had the desired effect as the prince had quickly decided that the promise of adventure wasn't worth the loss of two minutes with his warlock.

Merlin had finally, after some bribery, got Arthur to leave the room to check in with his father long enough to ensure that Uther wouldn't break down the door in the middle of the night to find his son entwined with a very male brunette. The thought of his father's rage at finding out, rather abruptly, that his son was gay and how all of that anger would be directed at the nobody that corrupted his perfect son was enough to make Arthur scramble out of his chambers incredibly quickly.

Arthur weighed up the benefits of meeting with his farther and meeting with Gaius and quickly decided that considering Merlin's generic _its fine _and _I'm fine, _talking to Gaius was the best possible idea. His Merlin was acting slightly off and he wanted to know why.

As he strode down the corridor leading to the old physician's chambers he found himself consistently worried as to what man might reveal. He paused before Gaius' door and remembered Merlin's previous reprimand on manners.

"_Just because you're the prince doesn't give you the right to be so condescending and supercilious." Merlin ranted in response to Arthur's slightly unfair treatment of a serving girl. But in the prince's defence the longer that girl spent in his chambers the longer he had to let go of Merlin. _

"_Big words Merlin, are you sure you know what they mean?" Arthur goaded, feeling slightly hard done by at Merlin's reprimand. _

"_You never knock before you enter a room, you never say please or thank you and you act so superior to everyone and everything." Merlin continued, not admitting to even himself that the only real reason that he was so wound up was because the stupid, blonde serf had been flirting with his Arthur. "And of course I know what they mean." He snapped before flopping heavily down on the bed._

"_I'm sorry, Merlin, truly." Arthur whispered into the brunette's hair as he pulled the warlock into his chest. "I don't mean to be, I just… my father expects me to behave like I'm better than everyone and if I don't… well… he makes a point of behaving worse to them until I get the point." _

_Merlin sighed, suddenly feeling terrible. He was being so harsh to Arthur about something that he couldn't help, if anything, encouraging the prince to break this habit could be more detrimental to the serfs than if he was kinder. They hung to each other for a second longer than friends normally would but as neither of them had ever really had a friend they didn't notice the difference. _

Gaius opened the door slightly out of breath and Arthur suddenly worried his father- figure's health. "Arthur my boy, what brings you here?" The physician asked stepping aside so that the boy could enter his quarters. After the old man had closed the door firmly behind the blonde, he moved to briefly embrace the boy he loved like a son, sending a silent thank you to whatever gods existed for bringing him back safely.

"I missed you Gaius." The prince explained feeling suddenly choked up, he gripped the old man to him tightly and allowed a few tears to fall down his cheeks and soak into the man's tunic. Gaius frowned as he felt the material over his shoulder grow damp.

"Arthur?" Gaius enquired, unsure as to what caused the blonde's upset. The prince pulled away; suddenly embarrassed he sniffed harshly and wiped his eyes before turning away from Gaius and regaining his composure.

"I came to enquire as to how Merlin was when I was away; he has been acting rather strangely." Gaius sighed, now resigned to the fact that there was no way the prince would share what upset him so.

"I know that the boy has magic." The old man said honestly, fearing that this was the cause of the discomfort that the boy was now in, he feared for his future. Of course he would, Gaius thought, the unofficial adviser to the king discovering that the prince's new friend was an avid user of magic. Even the best of men would be terrified.

Arthur sighed and sank into his chair, he knew that he wouldn't have been able to keep Merlin's gifts a secret forever and truth be told he hadn't wanted to, he was going to lift the ban the second he became king and he had relied on the fact that he could make sure no one found out until then. He placed his head in his hands and let the tears roll down his cheeks; the thought of loosing Merlin was so painful that the prince didn't think that he would last if he ever really lost the brunette, his warlock. The resent addition of possession that Arthur added before Merlin's name every time he spoke had gone completely unnoticed by the prince.

"I can't Gaius, I can't loose him. The thought alone fills me with so much pain that I don't know how I would go on. Please don't tell Uther." The prince pleaded, begging Gaius had noticed the bumbling idiocy and kind hearted nature of the warlock and had thought of what would become of him if he was left to Uther and the council.

"My boy…" Gaius started, pausing as he waited for the prince's blue eyes to find his. "Magic is banned in this kingdom and I am a faithful friend to your father… however, I have never truly supported or believed in his ruthless pursuit of those who practice magic. You are clearly in love with the boy and I would never intentionally hurt you, and so I believe it would be safe to deduce that I won't be turning anyone in to Uther anytime soon."

Arthur sprang up, a new sense of pride for the frail old man stood in front of him.

"Thank you Gaius." He muttered once again embracing the physician. "And I do, by the way… love him, that is." He stepped back suddenly unsure of how Gaius would take his declaration of love for the brunette.

"Well then I am beyond pleased for you, Merlin seems like a delightful boy and you may tell him that he can rest assured that I will not be informing Uther of his… situation."

Arthur had left Gaius' chambers unnaturally joyful and jogged to his own rooms, itching to embrace his friend and tell him the news. But as he rounded the corner leading to his room his jog disintegrated as he tried to make out the shouted words.

"What are… my son's chambe… execute…"

"Please… not what it looks… I swear…"

"Silence… insolence… punished…"

"Please… no… please…"

Arthur gasped as he entered his room, before raising his voice and commanding the attention of every man in the room. "What is going on here?" Uther's hand froze halfway in its path with Merlin's cheek as his son's voice bellowed through the room. Merlin froze more in the guard's arms; unsure as to whom Arthur's anger was directed at.

"Son…" Uther started but Arthur cut him off.

"_What is going on here_?" he said punctuating each word. He didn't allow himself to look over at Merlin, he had to feign indifference, he couldn't let Uther discover his feelings for the boy. Merlin whimpered at Arthur's apparent dismissal of him.

"I came to find you as you failed to join me for the evening meal last night and breakfast this morning and I found this _intruder _in your chambers, rifling through your things." Uther explained, glaring at Merlin as if he was no more than dirt.

"Arthur I wasn't I swear, I was just…" Merlin was cut off as Uther's fist connected with his ribs and the young warlock heard a crunch. Merlin watched as Uther's fist swung towards him again, bracing himself for another impact. But it never came.

When Merlin had gained enough courage to look to see what was happening he was surprised to find Arthur's had wrapped tightly around his father's wrist, preventing the king from striking him again.

Arthur twisted his father's arm up his back, restraining him and causing him to grunt in pain. "This may be how you deal with your servants but I will not deal with mine in the same way, do you understand?" he hissed in his father's ear. Arthur waited until his father's nod confirmed that he had understood his words.

The prince, suddenly looking more like a king than he ever had turned to the guards and hissed at them to get out before he saw fit to deal with them like his father would. He then walked over to Merlin and placed a hand on his shoulder. Merlin looked at him surprised that Arthur had stood up for him so fiercely and nodded confirmation at his well being.

Eventually, after searching Merlin's eyes for lies the blonde turned his attention to his father and snarled at him.

"Merlin is my manservant and he didn't deserve to be treated like this for doing his job, get out." Arthur stood chest heaving as he stared at his father. Uther perhaps sensing his son's palpable anger or maybe believing it wiser to regroup before punishing his son left with his tail between his legs an Arthur had never been so pleased to see the back of someone before.

After the prince was sure his father had left he called for a bath and undressed the warlock before settling him in the steamy water. Arthur sat next to the tub holding Merlin's hand until the water cooled and when he tried to get the brunette out of the now cold water Merlin muttered a small enchantment and Arthur watched in awe as steam once again, rose from the water.

Once the warlock was clean Arthur tended to his wounds, he cleaned the cuts on the boy's face and wrapped his ribs the way Gaius had shown him to before. After a while of sitting with Merlin on the bed and soothing him as he cried, recalling memories of past abuse, Arthur got up and retrieved a small back from his cupboard. The blonde pulled some of his shirts and breeches into the bag, along with his pillow off the bed, hoping that the smell of him on the pillow would comfort the warlock for the next couple of nights. He also after careful deliberation added a thick woollen blanket to the bag in the hopes that it would keep Merlin warm.

Merlin sat silently on the bed watching the prince place his belongings into a bag, it had finally happened. The prince had realised that he wasn't worth the trouble and had decided to get rid of him.

Merlin walked over to Arthur and took the bag from him before placing it on his shoulders. "Bye Arthur, thank you." He said hugging him. As he turned to leave the blonde caught his arm and pulled him back to his chest in a bone crushing hug.

"Silly boy, I'm not getting rid of you. Uther isn't going to be happy at the scene I made and is going to punish me with a good week in the dungeons. If you are here when the guards come for me then he will lock you up to just because he can't bear to be wrong. So you have to go stay with Gaius for a few days… but Merlin, do not leave him until I come for you, okay? Please if only to keep my mind at rest, keep yourself safe and don't leave his rooms? Okay?" Arthur explained, desperation leaking into his voice on his last couple of sentences.

"Of course Arthur." Merlin replied and Arthur nodded, happy with the warlock's response.

They walked hand in hand to Gaius' rooms, Merlin's bag slung over Arthur's shoulder as the prince had insisted on carrying it. Arthur walked into Gaius' room unannounced, which eared him a look from Merlin, but he didn't want to be seen lurking outside of Gaius' rooms when his father's men were most likely already looking for him.

The prince had explained the situation to Gaius and the physician was now under strict instructions to tend to and keep and eye in the warlock. After all of the explanations were done Gaius left the two boys alone so that they could say goodbye.

"It's not fair, you've only been back one day and already you have to leave again." Merlin sniffed looking down at the floor and biting his lip.

"I'll be back soon and now that Uther knows you exist you can come everywhere with me everyday." He reminded the boy hoping that it would cheer him up and he would stop biting his lip; Arthur had never seen something as delicious as Merlin biting his lower lip.

"Can't I come with you to the dungeons?" Merlin pleaded, gripping at straws.

"Sorry love, not going to happen." Arthur said laughing, he may not have noticed the endearment that he used but the warlock certainly did. Merlin flushed red, wondering if the prince had meant that or if it was just a slip of the tongue.

"I'll see you soon, Arthur." Merlin sniffed tears once again falling down his cheeks.

"I refuse to say goodbye as I will see you again soon, love." Arthur explained and Merlin flushed again at the nickname. Plucking up his courage Arthur reasoned with himself, _if you do it now he has an entire week to decide what he wants and you don't have to face immediate rejection. _Deciding that his reasoning was sound Arthur ran his hands up Merlin's neck and tilted his head up. He leaned in close, so that there was only about two centre meters between their lips, giving the warlock a chance to pull away and him a chance to mutter "My Merlin." And then he placed his lips ever so gently against Merlin's.

The kiss was beautiful, a strange warmth that Arthur had never felt before settled in the pit of his stomach and blossomed throughout his entire chest. His entire body was tingling, but the sensation was more intense where their lips were connected. The prince pulled away for breath and both he and Merlin gulped it in, resting their foreheads together. Arthur sighed deeply before connecting their lips for a second, third and fourth time.

"I have to go." He murmured before kissing the boy for the final time and taking his leave.

Arthur was sat on his bed ten minutes later waiting for the impotent guards to come and collect him, suddenly angry at the situation his father had put him in. he willed the guards to come so that he could beat them down. He was angry. He could be with Merlin now, declaring his love and kissing him but instead he was sat there waiting for some unintelligent brutes to heave him of to jail.

He was soon rewarded by the sound of heavy foot falls from behind his doors and he stood and stretched so that he could greet his father's minions in the correct way.

The first three went down easily as did the second two. There was a small time gap between the next set of guards which allowed the prince time to pause and breathe. The next guard posed a bigger problem; he was taller and heavier than the prince but lacked one vital advantage. Right now the prince was running on adrenaline and anger and _Merlin, _and that mix of emotions gave him the edge he needed to take down another three guards before he was restrained and he had to physically restrain himself from spitting at the brute that had held Merlin as his father beat him.

He was thrown rather ungracefully into his accommodation for the next week, spitting blood out from his mouth and trying to shield himself as the guards lay blow after blow onto his tired and wounded body.

Eventually they stopped and Arthur was tempted to sob in relief, he managed to restrain himself though and settled for sputtering out a "Have you had enough?" however the only response came in a set of very unwelcome foot falls.

"Piss off." Arthur greeted his father and he rolled onto his side, groaning and trying to prop himself up against the wall.

"Where is he?" his father asked.

"Don't know who you mean." Arthur responded.

"WHERE IS HE?" Uther bellowed, his carefully placed mask finally slipping.

"Piss off." Arthur smirked at his father. "I'm ashamed of you, ashamed to call you my father. It's your fault mother is dead and it is your fault that Morgana followed in her footsteps." He hissed as his fathers boot connected with his chin; he hadn't been expecting that.

"I will hunt down that boy and then I will make you watch as I pick him to pieces." Uther spat before locking his son in the cell and briskly informing the guard to release his _insolent son once he had learnt that his actions have consequences. _

Arthur didn't sleep that night, or the next, his mind to busy with thoughts of Merlin and all of the terrible things that his father and his friends could do to him. Arthur woke in the night crying out for his mother and his sister and

Merlin, the sounds of his own cries not drowning out the jeers of the other inmates as they teased him mercilessly about anything they could think of. Arthur eventually gave up and settled for sitting awake plotting the most violent way he could dispose of his father.

But above all else the wished for Merlin, and he wanted the boy's comforting body next to his own more than anything.

**Please, Please review :)**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Purgatory

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, the BBC does.**

Arthur noted bitterly, as he lay face down on the stone floor of his room, that he had never noticed how uncomfortable his floors were. The guards that had dumped him on the floor of his room smirked and kicked him once more in the side before spitting at him and leaving. The blonde groaned and rolled onto his side, spitting out the blood that had pooled in his mouth. He was glad his time in the dungeon was up, he really didn't know what he would have done if he was kept in those cells for another day. He couldn't really remember much, only the beatings; he had drifted in and out of consciousness for days, the beatings getting more and more severe as the time went by.

_On what Arthur thinks was the fourth day, Uther paid him a visit. The king smirked down at his bloody, broken son and laughed before sneering "Oh Arthur, how the mighty have fallen." _

"_Have your moronic guards located Merlin yet or are they still chasing their tails?" the prince retorted knowing that his cocky response would earn him some more rough treatment. His father's superior expression faltered for a second before he smiled maliciously and kicked his son's chest, causing the blonde to roll and gasp for breath. The impact to his chest coupled with what Arthur suspected was the beginnings of a rather nasty chest infection caused him to splutter and cough as the air stung his lungs._

"_You can't hide him forever and by the time we find him all of my sympathy and understanding will have run out boy." Uther couldn't remember ever hating anyone as much as he hated his son at that moment, of all the people in the kingdom Uther thought that he would be able to trust his son but apparently not. _

"_Oh, father dearest, you don't have the intelligence to find him." He laughed, a croaky laugh that sounded more like an old mans than a young boys. His father walked out of the cell and re-locked the door behind him before addressing the guard. _

"_Has the boy been fed since the beginning of his stay?" he asked. The guard cleared his throat nervously and looked down at the floor. _

"_No sire." He answered. _

"_Very good, now I want you to personally see to it that the prince doesn't receive anything to eat for the remainder of the duration of his stay." _

"_Very well sire." The guard said diligently, unsure as to what the prince had done to warrant such treatment, but knowing that holding his tongue was the best approach with the irritable king he said nothing and decided to later refer to castle gossip to find out what had happened. _

_Uther walked away from the guard and his son, returning to the comforts of his room and a ludicrously young serving girl who definitely did not give her consent for his following actions. _

Arthur heard the heavy doors to his chambers open and tried to pull himself away from the intruder to limit any further injuries. "Please don't." he muttered quietly, tears of shame at what he had been reduced to sliding down his cheeks.

"Gaius!" came the frantic call of Merlin's voice as he rushed to Arthur's side and collapsed next to him, not even noticing when his legs made abnormally hard contact with the floor.

The old man rushed into the room, medical bag in hand as he walked as quickly as he could towards the boy that he loved like a son. He had heard that the prince was being released and had decided to bring the young warlock back before he started bouncing off the walls. Gaius had seen Merlin's distress grow the longer he stayed away from the prince and he knew that when the brunette woke that morning that he was chomping at the bit to see his prince again.

"Oh my boy." He muttered as he carefully, with Merlin's assistance, rolled the blonde onto his back and began to assess his injuries._ Fractured ribs: two, broken ribs: two… no three, fractured fingers on both hands, sprained ankle, concussion, chest infection, multiple lacerations to abdomen, chest and back; back lashes consistent with a horse whip and the cut on his chest consistent with a blade. _Gaius took note of the prince's bloodied sword next to his hand and decided that his own weapon had been used against him to cause him pain.

"Arthur wake up, wake up," Merlin pleaded with his prince, wiling him to wake. "Please Arthur, wake up." He sobbed, pressing he forehead into the prince's already sore chest, letting his tears mix with the prince's blood.

"Merlin, get up now. You're not helping Arthur by doing this and you need to get off him so I can treat him. Now, help me move him to the bed." Merlin sobered at the physicians reprimand and helped the old man move the blonde to the bed.

Merlin sat and watched as Gaius treated the prince carefully with his deft hands. It took a long while but Merlin only let go of Arthur's hand to let the physician remove his tattered shirt. Merlin felt so guilty, Arthur had been hurt protecting him from Uther and it was all his fault.

Gaius had left a little while later, leaving Merlin with a small vial containing a clear blue liquid and instructions to give it to the prince twice a day or when needed, it was for his chest infection. He also had a larger vial with a pale yellow, waxy looking salve which he was meant to put onto Arthur's cuts once a day. Merlin had taken his role very seriously and had set up an entire shelf in Arthur's cupboard just for the prince's treatments. He had also added extra pillows and blankets to the bed to ensure the blonde's comfort; he checked the prince's temperature with his hand frequently, adding and removing the blankets to adjust his loves temperature to make sure he wasn't too hot or too cold.

He was relieved when he noticed the prince's fever breaking halfway through the night, thankful that Gaius had shown him what to look out for. Arthur woke about an hour later, mumbling for Merlin and water, he seemed disorientated and weak and Merlin wasn't sure if it was because of Gaius' remedy or his illness. He fetched the prince some water from a jug on the table before rushing back over to the bed, tucking one leg under his bum with his legs off the side of the bed. He brought the cup up to Arthur's lips and lifted his head so that he could drink from it.

Arthur gulped from the cup and then spluttered and coughed as he choked on the water. Merlin helped to pull him up so that he was sitting against the headboard and then he rubbed the blonde's back soothingly until he stopped choking.

"Merlin I-" Arthur began but the brunette cut him off by placing his lips against the prince's. They kissed softly, Merlin bringing his hands up to Arthur's face to hold them together. After a few seconds they pulled apart and rested their foreheads together.

"Hello." Merlin whispered and Arthur smiled gently, a kind of sad nostalgic smile.

"Hello." He replied before kissing the warlock again, preventing him from saying anything else. Merlin pulled away first this time, he tugged Arthur down so that he was laying with his head on the pillows before settling on the blonde's chest, listening once again to his heartbeat.

"I missed you." Merlin whispered into the fabric of Arthur's chest, gently turning his head so that his chin was resting on the blonde's chest and he could look at his prince. "I was terrified Arthur, I was so scared that you weren't going to come back." He paused, swallowing back his tears. "When you saved me you taught me what it was like to love someone and to feel loved in return, I don't know what I would do if that was taken away from me now. I don't know what I'd do without _you_." He said slightly shy as to how the prince would react.

The blonde's head had been foggy when he had first woke up but the fog had lifted at Merlin's round about declaration of love. He had honestly, over the past week of beatings, prepared himself for, and accepted the fact that the warlock would never return his feelings, but hearing the brunette admit that he felt the same made him want to cry with joy. However, he settled for a kiss, wincing as he jolted his sore ribs.

"I love you, my Merlin." He murmured against the other boy's lips and the brunette smiled lazily before kissing him back.

"I love you too, my prince." He whispered before wrapping himself around the prince and drifting off to sleep.

Arthur didn't sleep that night; he had conditioned himself over the past few nights not to need sleep. The first night he had slept, he had fallen victim to a gang of the more permanent inmates. It seemed they had a certain agreement with the guards; let us out for the nights and we will return in the mornings not having mentioned to anyone the indiscretions that we see and hear you commit.

_They had unlocked the cells of six of the residents that evening and Arthur had slunk back against the furthest corner of the cell hoping to evade notice. It hadn't worked though and after the men had stretched out for a couple of minutes they had soon turned their attentions to the crown prince of Camelot. _

"_Awe," the largest, ugliest of the lot sneered at the blonde. "Did pretty boy get left all alone?" Arthur shivered in disgust as six pairs of eyes roamed around his body, sizing him up. He had never been happier to be locked in a room in his life; at least they couldn't touch him. _

"_Guess what Arty," the second piped up, and Arthur turned to face him, raising his eyebrow slightly, inviting the red-head to continue. "Daddy left us a key." He said as the cell door swung open, Arthur scrambled up quickly, fear, adrenaline and betrayal coursing through him. He knew his father hated him, but to leave him to the mercy of six men was more than Arthur thought he would inflict on anyone, let alone his own son. He was glad that he had only been in the cell one day, he wasn't going to go down without a fight and he would need his strength to remove the brutes. The middle man came at him firs and Arthur easily side-stepped, sending the man head first into the concrete wall, knocking him out stone cold. The second followed relatively quickly as well; he came at the prince and swung his fist, Arthur deflected his fist and sent the man turning to the side after loosing his balance, as the man turned Arthur bought his elbow down heavily on the back of the man's head sending him crashing to the floor. He was just about to knock the man out when the first man (the one who started talking) wrapped his tree-trunk-like arms around him and squeezed him tightly against his chest._

"_I do like it when they struggle." He said before licking the shell of Arthur's ear. The price wretched in disgust and then cracked his elbow against the brute's nose, blood flowing out of his nose and onto Arthur's shoulder the boy stumbled back and landed heavily against the wall. _

"_You're going to love me then." He said as he lurched towards the bleeding man. The remaining three hooked their arms around the prince's waist restraining him and protecting their friend as he struggled whole-heartedly. _

_The bleeding man ripped off a strip of his linen tunic and allowed it to soak up the worst of the blood pouring from his nose before wrapping the rag firmly around the blonde's mouth, securing it behind his head. Gagging him. _

_Arthur could feel the panic welling up inside him, he legs and arms were being held so he couldn't move, he concluded that he could thrush his hips backwards and it might get them off, however, Arthur decided it most likely wouldn't work and they would make some sick twisted jokes about him wanting them. So he stood strong and waited for the opportune moment to escape. The largest man, the first one, placed both of his hands on the collar of Arthur's shirt and ripped it halfway down the middle, revealing a pale chest and light golden hair. _

"_Oh Arty, you're so beautiful." He laughed and reached for the princes breeches. Arthur was suddenly glad he had donned undergarments when he had gotten dressed the previous evening. The tree trunk could clearly see the outline of the prince's flaccid cock through the thin material and suddenly Arthur could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and constricting his throat. _

_Arthur shook his head vigorously and smashed his head backwards; however the men behind him seemed to have anticipated this and dodged easily out of the way. The ring leader gestured at the other thugs and they pushed the prince down to the floor, arse in the air. The men who were restraining him moved into more comfortable positions, trying to enjoy the show Arthur laughed bitterly at his dry humour. Tres drole. _

_Hands were beginning to find their way into the prince's trousers when the weight off all of the men and the feeling of the hands suddenly disappeared. He rolled away quickly and pushed himself against the wall and buried his face into his arms as he pulled his knees up to his chests. He listened to the thuds and the sweeping noises of swords that he knew so well as something unknown happened to the grunts that had attacked him. He flinched lightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at the owner of the hand wide eyed and teary. _

"_L-Leon?" he asked unsure as to why the knight was even down here. Arthur didn't really know what was happening next but he had very quickly thrown his arms around the knight's neck and was sobbing openly into the man's neck. "Thank you, Thank you." He said over and over, unsure if he was ever going to be able to repay his friend. _

"_Shhh Arthur." Leon comforted the prince, glad that he had decided to come alone; he could deal with this situation and he didn't really want any of the other knights to have any idea of how venerable their leader really was. _

"_Leon can I trust you?" Arthur asked as he lent back and dried his eyes._

"_Arthur I know you've never really interacted on a friendly level with many of the knights, but I swear to you, I will not share this with any of the other knights or anyone else. I have always watched you Arthur, tried to share some of your burden but I've never really succeeded, I feel guilty that everything happened to you and I am so ashamed that I didn't notice what Uther was like sooner, but I promise you that you will always be able to trust me, no matter what. My loyalty has and always will be yours."_

_The knight's speech touched Arthur and he very nearly started crying again, instead he cleared his throat and responded. _

"_Currently, there is a boy named Merlin staying with Gaius, he has magic and he has had a very hard life. I am here at the moment to protect him and would gladly lay down my life for him…" Arthur paused; his voice had lowered considerably just to make sure that no one could overhear their conversation. "I love him Leon, more than I have ever loved anyone and I can't loose him, I can't. I need you to find him, tell him who you are and explain to Gaius as well, they will both be wary so you need to give them this," he said handing over his mothers ring that never left his little finger on his right hand. "With that they will know that you are telling the truth, make sure Merlin wears it though. Anyway, you have to protect him, I don't care how, but please keep him safe at least until I can get out of here." Leon nodded digesting everything that Arthur had told him. _

"_You love him?"_

"_Enough that the thought of him not being in the world makes me want to take my own life." The prince responded quickly and without hesitation._

"_What happens when you get out?"_

"_I recuperate, I am not going to get out of here in the best condition and then I plot. I plot and I plan and I get together a team and under the law of crimes against the people we arrest, try and punish Uther Pendragon."_

"_Punish?" _

"_I'll kill him," Arthur explained as if it were the simplest thing ever. "I destroy him and take Camelot, and then Leon, we rebuild it on foundation that we will be proud of when we are old." Arthur's face was taken over by nostalgia. "I want to be able to tell my children that I took a stand against my father's wrong doings. I want be able to tell them that I saw something was wrong and did something about it. I want to be proud of myself and I want Merlin to be safe from persecution and to live a happy and full life with me." He looked over at Leon, seeing a strange look of pride on his as the prince explained his plans. "I want to be free." Arthur concluded with a smile on his face. _

_Leon looked at the prince for a moment, trying to ascertain if he was being serious or not, deciding that he was serious he took a deep breath and gave the blonde his answer._

"_Count me in." _

**Please Review**

**tres drole = Very funny (french)**


	12. Chapter Twelve: The White Knight

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, the BBC does. **

_15 years ago…_

_Leon was currently sat in the armoury polishing his shield; he had finished the daily training early because some of the knights had wanted to attend the funeral for the Lady Ygraine. The queen had died after giving birth to the lady Morgana, she had been ill before hand for quite some time with a illness that Gaius couldn't identify but the birth had taken too much out of her. The young prince Arthur, at only nine, wasn't really sure what was happening but knew enough to understand that his mother wasn't coming back and Leon silently cursed the king for not comforting his son in his grief. _

_The king had palmed the baby girl off on a wet-nurse within five minutes of her being born and had refused to see her since. Arthur, being nine and perfectly capable of understanding that the little baby was his sister had visited her frequently and spent every moment of his free time holding her or talking to her about his tutoring or his day or just his life in general; explaining why their mother hadn't come to see her yet or that the colour of the sky was blue. It was strange to see the disinterested little boy suddenly take such avid interest in something and Leon was suddenly glad to see him find a person to share things with even if they never offered a response. _

_The door to the armoury opened with a loud bang pulling the knight out of his thoughts and suddenly the young prince was thrown to the floor in front of the knight. Arthur looked up at Leon with tears streaming down his cheeks and Morgana clutched tightly in his small arms. _

_Leon quickly went to reach for the boy and pulled him up before checking him over, his anger didn't diminish as he noticed that no harm had befallen the boy._

"_What do you think you are doing," Leon began as he checked over Morgana, equally pleased that no harm had come to her either. "That is the prince you just threw to-" Leon stopped short in his lecture as he noticed who he was addressing. _

"_Sire?" he questioned as he looked at the king in disgust; there was nothing Leon hated more than a man who found it entertaining to push around his kids._

"_My son's behaviour at the funeral was deplorable, men don't cry. As prince, Arthur should be training not coddling that little brat. Sort him out Leon or I will." He king growled before leaving, his Camelot red cape with the gold Pendragon insignia on the shoulder flowing out dramatically behind him. _Men don't cry, _that was stupid, men did cry and it wasn't a shameful thing, however Arthur wasn't a man, he was a boy whose mother had just died and he should be allowed to cry._

_Leon sighed as he sat down on the bench and pulled the young prince onto his lap. He pulled the blonde and his sister to his chest and rocked them slowly back and forth, trying to comfort them._

"_I miss mother." The little boy sniffed and Leon had to push back his own tears at the distress on the young prince's face._

"_I know Arthur, I'm so sorry." He said as he placed the boy on his feet. "Now, shall we go and put little Morgana to bed? I think it's been a long day and that she might be tired." Arthur nodded and sniffed, agreeing that his sister needed her rest. Leon was glad his ploy had worked; he thought that Arthur could do with the rest more than the baby and knew that the only way to get him to sleep would be to get her to sleep. _

_The knight tried to reach for the baby girl so that the prince didn't have to carry her any longer but her brother wouldn't let go. Knowing that Arthur's precarious emotional state wouldn't be helped by forcing him to give up his sister, he picked up the boy and carried them both on his hip all the way to the prince's chambers. _

_He had managed to settle the baby in the crib at the foot of Arthur's bed by the time that the prince's bath had been filled. He helped the boy undress and get into the tub before he sat down next to him and tried to get some answers._

"_Does your dad often treat you like that?" he probed gently not wanting to upset the boy any more._

"_Sometimes." Arthur answered vaguely. It was clear that Arthur wasn't going to share anything voluntarily with the knight. _

"_He hurt's you before?" Leon asked, already knowing the answer. _

"_Only when he's angry, but now that mothers gone and I have to look after Morgana he always seems to be angry. I thought that he would be proud of me, for looking after her, am I not doing a good job?" Arthur asked, tears once again welling up in his wide blue eyes._

_Leon sighed as he swore his heart broke, "No Arthur, you are doing perfectly." _

_Pleased with the knight's response Arthur went back to playing with the bubbles in his bath. Gaius had come up with a solution that made the water fizz and froth for the little princesses birth but the physician had sneakily given some to the prince, hoping to cheer him up. _

_Leon had put the prince to bed that night and stayed to look after Morgana so that the boy could rest. The first time the baby stirred Leon froze, suddenly very annoyed that he had no idea what to do. He had picked the little girl up, mimicking how Arthur held her earlier; arms cradled in front of his body with her head resting on his arms. Her very green eyes looked up curiously at the man who wasn't her brother as she gurgled in appreciation of the newcomer. _

_Leon was certain that the king had never looked at the little girl after it was announced that his wife had died and he was pretty sure that he would never really interact with her again. Leon suddenly knew what was required of him, and he was happy to comply, not out of obligation but out of a fierce loyalty and love for the two children. He would love them unconditionally and support them in all of their endeavours, protecting them with his life, as he wasn't entirely sure that it would be worth living without them._

_11 years ago…_

_Leon watched from the sidelines as Arthur fought with his opponent, the thirteen year old was already shaping up to be one of the best swordsmen that the night had ever seen. He watched Arthur dance around his opponent laughing as he finally pushed the boy to the floor and requested his surrender. The boy yielded and Arthur put away his Sword and offered the boy a hand up. Leon was just about to praise Arthur for not only his skill but his exemplary behaviour when Uther pushed his teenage son onto his back and lifted his sword high above his head, ready to stab the prince. _

_Arthur rolled out of the way, causing Uther's sword to get stuck in the dry earth. The blonde re-drew his sword and took his position opposite his father ready to defend himself._

"_Wait here Morgana, do you hear me? Don't move!" Leon whispered urgently at the four year old and turned away only when he had seen her black curls nodding in agreement. Leon rushed over to the weapons shelf as he hears their swords begin to clash. He quickly withdrew his own weapon and ran back to the training field. He was terrified, he had begun to love both of Uther's children like an older brother and he couldn't quite understand why the king couldn't see how amazing they were. He watched as Uther knocked the tired boy to the ground and spat at him._

"_Is that all you've got boy?" the king taunted hoping to get a response, when he got none he raised his sword ready to end his son. Arthur closed his eyes, not wanting to see the blade coming swiftly towards his head, and in those last seconds he couldn't quite fathom what he had ever done to make his father hate him so._

_Leon ran quickly, quicker than he ever had before as he watched Uther prepare to bring his sword down on the blonde's neck. Just as Uther brought the sword down Leon's shot out and stopped the king, their swords clashed with a resounding sound that echoed in the unnatural silence. Knowing that his only chance against the king was to act on his shock, Leon quickly pushed his sword upwards and sent the older man's weapon flying through the air away from them. _

_When the king regained his senses, he was on the dusty floor, weapon less and with a knight's sword to his neck. Uther was pretty sure the knight's name was Leon or Luke or something along those lines, but he only recognised the man as the one who he'd thrown his son at on the day of his wife's funeral._

_Leon's chest was heaving as he pointed the sword at the king's heart, completely aware that he could be killed for treason if Uther wanted it. He had to be diplomatic; he needed to make Uther if not all of the spectators think that it had just been training, it was his only chance. He had to survive for Arthur and Morgana; he couldn't leave them to the mercy of this tyrant._

_Leon withdrew his sword and extended his hand to the king offering him a hand up. _Please, _he prayed, _let this work. _The king laughed and accepted the knight's hand. Once he was up he dusted himself off and wrapped an arm around the knight's shoulder, smirking in satisfaction as the man recoiled._

"_Good choice Leon." He sneered in the knight's ear before skulking back off to his chambers to nurse his wounded pride. The crowd began to disperse, their king had lost and it was not the outcome they had wanted. Leon waited for a second and then, appearances damned, ran over to the prince and embraced him tightly, crushing the boy to his chest as he sobbed. _

"_I… don't understand… what did I… what did I do wrong?" the boy spluttered into the knight's chest in between his sobs. _

"_It's not your fault Arthur, none of it's your fault; it never has been and it never will." He muttered before kissing the boy's forehead as he settled on the floor and pulled the prince into his lap. _

_Leon looked up as he felt a very timid tug on his sleeve, Morgana was stood there, tears running down her small cheeks. He pulled her over as well and shushed them both. _

_Uther had refused to publicly acknowledge Morgana, however she still lived in the castle. For some reason unknown to the middle-aged man the king detested his children and would rather see them dead. Leon had never really understood how people could hate their own children or ever hurt them; children were so innocent and gentle, they automatically brought joy to anyone just by being there. _

_Eventually after about half an hour, he pulled them up and steadied Arthur as he stumbled, it seems the reason that Uther had managed to get the boy on his back was a sprained ankle. He went to pick little Morgana up as she had fallen asleep during the commotion however Arthur pushed his hands aside and picked her up himself. After he had positioned her comfortably, arms wrapped around his neck and legs around his chest he began limping back to his room. Leon followed feeling dejected and decidedly useless. When they got the corridor by the prince's room the blonde faltered and fell to his knees, cradling the little girl closely to his chest to prevent her from hurting herself on impact. _

_Leon rushed forward and placed a hand on the prince's shoulder._

"_You've been _so strong_ Arthur, let me carry it for a while." He said referring to the metaphorical responsibility that the prince carried. Arthur nodded as he allowed himself to crumble, he could be strong all of the time for everyone. Leon was the only person who had ever let him be weak without penalising him for it. The blonde nodded, granting Leon permission and the knight quickly scooped the prince and Morgana into his arms, carrying them both to the prince's chambers._

_They all fell asleep that night, the prince that had too much to deal with, the little girl without parents and the white knight, their protector, who loved them fiercely and without limitation._

_Four years ago…_

_The twenty year old prince was lay on his bed with his head on Leon's chest, staring off into darkness and refusing to let the tears fall. His father's voice echoed in his mind; _tears show weakness_. Leon worried about the blonde as he ran a hand soothingly up and down the prince's back, trying to offer any kind of comfort. _

_They had just attended Morgana's funeral. She had been kidnapped a month ago and the body was finally returned yesterday. The funeral had only been attended by Arthur, Leon and some of Morgana's closest friends, Uther hadn't shown up and for some reason that angered the prince more than anything. The king had never shown any compassion or care for either of them before but he had thought that the man who gave them life would have cared enough to attend his own daughters funeral. _

_The knight had escorted the prince back to his room and as he was about to leave the prince had tugged him to the bed and snuggled into his side like he did when he was a boy._

"_Thank you brother." He had muttered into the knight's chest and the man had smiled tenderly at the endearment; it wasn't the first time Arthur had referred to them as brothers but it still made his insides warm. _

"_You're welcome baby brother." Leon had responded before kissing the blonde's forehead. _

"_She loved you Leon." Arthur said a little while later, completely out of the blue. _

"_She was only a little girl." Leon responded, sadness creeping back to him as he was reminded that he would never see the little girl with jet black hair and emerald green eyes again._

"_You were the father she never had." The prince explained simply. "You looked after her, taught her how the world worked and bandaged her knee when she fell. You did it for both of us and I'm just sorry that we weren't really your children. I have a feeling that we would have grown up so much happier if you had been our farther. I would have liked that." Arthur admitted, finally saying what he had thought for so many years. Leon smiled and let a tear fall at the prince's declaration. _

"_I would have liked that too Arthur." He whispered quietly before hugging the prince closer to him. They drifted off to sleep that night, each others words ringing in their ears._

Present…

Arthur was pretty certain that he wouldn't have been able to survive any of it without Leon and that is why he was sure he could trust the soldier. Leon loved him and he loved Leon; their brotherly bond was not to be broken over anything. Uther had tried to destroy them far too many times to succeed now, and that fact, was what made Arthur absolutely positive that they only needed one attempt to destroy the king, one perfectly crafted, precisely executed plan, formed out of love and joint loss and grief, not hatred and revenge.

Their attempt to take Camelot had to be successful or they would all be as good as dead.


	13. Chapter Thirteen: The Cave

**Disclaimer: unfortunately, I own nothing of the BBC, Merlin, it's characters or it's story lines. **

**Hello all. Sorry about the wait. Please enjoy and review. **

Arthur was still awake the next morning when Merlin began to stir. "Did you sleep at all?" the brunette asked concern in his voice and worry painted on his face.

Arthur shrugged knowing that lying to the warlock would just upset him more. It had been three weeks since Arthur's stay in the dungeons and he was finally well enough to resume all of his normal activities including training. Merlin had been spending his days with kilgharrah and his evenings wrapped around the prince. Arthur had tried to sleep through the night but he was constantly plagued by nightmares of his time in the castle cells, the serious lack of sleep was beginning to get to him and he could feel himself loosing the strength that he'd built up in the last couple of weeks of recovery.

Merlin pulled himself out of bed and Arthur knew that he was only getting up so soon so that Arthur wouldn't see the tears pooling in his eyes. Arthur sighed; the fatigue had made his already caustic temper very short. He didn't want the warlock upset, he knew that the next couple of weeks would be hard on them and he didn't want Merlin worrying about him anymore than necessary.

Merlin walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out some of the prince's clothes before walking behind the changing screen to put them on. He wanted to help the prince; he knew terrible thing must have happened to him in the cells and he just wished that the prince would open up and let him help.

"Come on Merlin, don't be like this." Arthur said rolling, rather lazily out of the four poster bed.

"Be like what Arthur?" he retorted, finally loosing his temper with the prince. "Be like what?"

"Merlin-" Arthur began to reason but Merlin cut him off.

"What am I doing wrong Arthur? Am I being too understanding? Too patient?" Merlin shouted whirling out from behind the changing screen dressed only in his breeches. "You have to help me understand Arthur, because I am trying my hardest to help you and you are not letting me in." he finished, chest heaving from the exertion of shouting at the blonde.

"I don't need your help." Arthur spat, his anger equal to that of the warlock. Merlin recoiled slightly before responding, the words sticking in his dry mouth.

"Then why am I here?" Merlin asked and the prince didn't answer. A million justifications ran through his head; _because I love you… because I do need you, I'm just too scared to open up… I don't know what I would do without you. _But nothing came out.

Merlin nodded, tears finally spilling onto his cheeks as he pulled on the prince's shirt and left the room without looking back.

Arthur left his room later that day and walked towards the caves where the dragon resided. He and Leon had decided earlier that week that the best place to meet to discuss the uprising would be the dragon cave. Kilgharrah was happy to supply his home for the meetings as he wanted to be part of the rebellion; Uther had imprisoned him and he wanted revenge.

Leon had been trusted to gather some of the knights most loyal to Arthur and the prince wasn't sure how many would be turning up. He suspected about three or four, possibly five but no more than that. Arthur knew that their limited numbers would hinder make assuming control a lot harder so their plan had to be spectacular.

"Kilgharrah." He shouted in to the cavern as he entered to gain the dragons attention. Soon after he called he heard the sound of giant wings flapping as the great dragon flew ever closer.

"Are you the first here young prince?" the dragon asked as he settled on the rock and stretched out his wings before folding them against his back.

"Yes." The prince said as he sat down, legs dangling over the side of the cliff.

"You and the young warlock fought this morning, am I correct?" the dragon asked.

"Yes." Arthur answered; he had given up wondering how the dragon knew so much about them a while ago and resigned himself to the fact that Kilgharrah just knew everything.

"Did you apologise?"

The prince scoffed. "Me apologise? It wasn't my fault. _Merlin_ flipped out on _me, _he wanted me to talk to him and I didn't want to, so now I'm the big bad wolf." Arthur exploded, unsure as to why the dragon was blaming him.

"Arthur, Merlin lived his entire life unloved until he found you and when he did he shared everything with you; every dark night, every event, every abuse and torment. He had always been worried that your affection for him was just a game, a final torment and then you would leave him to the dogs. When you refuse to open up to him he feels like you don't trust him and that scares him because he trusted you with every part of him; he is worried that you don't love him as he loves you."

Arthur's mouth was open in the shape of an o as he contemplated what the dragon said; how had he missed all that?

"I guess I have some apologising to do then?" he asked the dragon and the great beast threw his head back and laughed, a fierce noise that rocked the entire cave before he lowered his head and nodded to the cave entrance.

He blonde turned and paled at the sight of the warlock, before blushing a brilliant red that made the brunette giggle. "Hello." The blonde squeaked out before turning back to the dragon and gesturing that he was going to kill the beast. "You're dead." He lipped at the overgrown lizard.

Merlin walked over and lowered himself down next to the prince. "Hello." He said as he lent onto the blonde's shoulder. Arthur sighed in contentment and wrapped his arm around the brunette's back and in those very simple gestures, all was forgiven.

"I love you so much." Arthur whispered into the brunette's ear. "More than I have ever loved anything." He continued kissing the boy's cheek. "I love you, my Merlin." He finished, kissing the boy on the lips. Merlin blushed and snuggled into the blonde's chest.

"I love you too, Arthur Pendragon."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, with an unspoken promise to talk later as they waited for everyone else to arrive. Leon was the first; he had walked in and the two boys had jumped apart quicker than the knight had ever seen anyone move before. Leon had laughed and muttered a small "Don't mind me." Before he settled against the wall.

The two boys quickly got over their embarrassment and started to discuss numbers with Leon, however the knight was being quite cryptic.

"How many then?" Arthur asked.

"I think you'll be quite surprised." Leon answered, avoiding the question.

"Yes, but how many people?" Arthur insisted.

"Just wait and see." He retorted before smiling to himself in a I-know-something-you-don't kind of way.

It turns out that they didn't have to wait long, fifteen minutes later the prince heard footsteps and stood up, Merlin on his right side and Leon on his left. The prince watched slack jawed as about twenty or twenty five people pilled into the room. Merlin shuffled slightly closer to his prince and sighed when the blonde wrapped his arm around his middle pulling him closer; the amount of people was making the brunette quite uncomfortable and he was suddenly very glad that the blonde was there. Arthur spent a few minutes getting over his shock, but after that he began talking to Leon in hushed urgent whispers.

"Can they all fight?"

"Most of them, some can't but they were insistent sire."

"You've out done yourself brother, thank you." The blonde said as he patted his brother on the back. Leon smiled and moved his head slightly, implying a bow.

"RIGHT," Arthur called, trying to get the group to pay attention. "I need everyone that can fight against that wall and everyone who cannot against that wall." Arthur explained. He waited for people to move but when no one did he moved his arm in a _go ahead _motion.

"How many knights?" he asked Leon as he waited for people to join their respected groups.

"Percival, Gwain, Elyan and Lancelot, there are a few young knights that fell victim to one of Uther's more vicious attacks earlier in the week." Leon said gesturing to a group of boys that looked no older than him. "They came from Cenred's kingdom to escape his torture and came here, poor boys." Leon muttered as he shook his head in disgust.

"Names?" Arthur asked, apparently the prince was trying to perfect the art of one syllable questions.

"Anthony, Marcus, Thomas and Tristan, they are brothers." He said to the prince. "Cenred executed their mother and farther."

Three hours later Merlin was leaning heavily on Arthur as they limped back to their chambers.

"It wasn't my fault." The warlock insisted, wincing as his put his weight on his foot.

"Of course not." Arthur agreed half-heartedly, laughing as he recalled what had happened. Merlin had the entire rebellion in awe as he showed off some of the spell that he had learnt from the spell book Gaius had gifted him. He was showing off some of his most amazing spells, some defensive and some offensive; fire balls and invisible shields and spells that caused the warlock to turn invisible. Then he tripped, face first over his own feet.

"It wasn't." he replied huffing at the sarcastic undertone to the prince's voice. Arthur laughed and hoisted the warlock up into his arms and carried him the rest of the way.

When they finally reached their chambers the blonde laid Merlin onto the bed before doing the same, pulling the warlock onto his chest.

"I love you Merlin." Arthur whispered ardently, wanting the warlock to hear the honest truth in his voice.

"And I love you, my prince." Merlin said, kissing him lightly on the jaw. "Even if you are an insufferable prat." He finished and the prince laughed, a deep belly laugh that soon caused the warlock to join in. They laughed together until they had tears in their eyes and their throats hurt, but eventually they fell asleep, grins on their faces.

**Sorry it took so long but please review, it makes my day : )**


	14. Chapter Fourteen: The Knight's Reprieve

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin the BBC does.**

**WARNING: this chapter contains explicit male/male sex.**

**Please enjoy, I am enjoying writing Leon's life a lot more than I anticipated and I just wanted to know if you were enjoying reading it or if you wanted me to focus more on Merlin and Arthur again?**

Leon sighed and leant against the inside of his chamber door before sinking down to the floor and placing his head on his knees. He had been working relentlessly, trying to organise the uprising for Arthur, for Camelot. He knew that the people couldn't survive much longer under Uther's control; Camelot was choking and Arthur would be the breath of fresh air that was so desperately needed.

He was contemplating the pros and cons of falling asleep on the stone floor, which was becoming more and more comfortable, when he heard a person clear their throat from the general direction of the bed. His head snapped up quickly, hand instinctually moving to his sword. His heart was pumping as adrenaline raced through his veins; he was looking forward to the chance of a fight, so seeing Gwain grinning smugly at him from his casual position on his bed was rather the anti-climax.

"What d'ya want?" Leon slurred, the adrenaline fading from his system and leaving his feeling ridiculously drained. He wasn't in the mood for Gwaine's games.

"What's it like?" the knight asked, answering Leon's question with one of his own. Gwaine had watched the prince and the knight interact all afternoon and was left with a feeling nostalgic, a feeling that he was sure he didn't like. He couldn't describe the relationship between the two; it was brotherly, but much deeper. They knew what to say around each other, how to act and how to laugh. "Having a…" Gwaine paused trying to locate the right word. "…soul-mate." He finished, comfortable with his assessment.

Leon stood, unsure how to respond. He settled on the bead next to the knight and sighed, for the second time since entering his room.

"It's like… marching into battle with your entire army behind you, watching your back. It's like having a brother and a best friend and all the while you know that you'll always have someone to talk to." He paused assessing their relationship, wanting to explain it as best as he could. "It's lonely though." He admitted.

Gwaine frowned, not understanding. "Arthur has Merlin now, and he fits with him better than he ever will or has with me… I never wanted more with Arthur, never desired him as a man does a potential spouse, he was too much like a brother to me and I am glad that he has found Merlin but… sometimes I feel so alone." Leon paused, not really realising that he was pouring his soul out to Gwaine. "I know that after all this is over and we have claimed Camelot for our own, Arthur and Merlin will settle and I will be left with nothing; I wont have to protect him or look after him, I wont have to save him from Uther. Being his soul-mate has always been a temporary occupation for me and I guess I have known that for a long time, it was the best thing I have ever done but I'm not sure that I'm ready to just be _me_. I have been Leon: Arthur's left-hand-man for years and I don't know who I will be after he settles with Merlin. I've been preparing him not to need me but I think I underestimated how much_ I need him_; as a distraction and as a friend." He stopped, wanting the floor to swallow him up.

"Oh Leon." Gwaine sighed as he wrapped his arms around the knight and pulled him close. It was weird for the dark-haired man, holding someone so close. "You have all of the knights, Arthur will never stop needing you; who will show him what to do when him and Merlin have a child, or when he decides to ask the warlock to marry him? You will always be needed, by them, by him and by me." He vowed.

Leon listened closely as he heard the knight's words, shocked by the intensity in his words. He had always harboured a secret crush on the slightly younger knight but never acted on it. Whether it was Gwaine's fanciful words, their sudden closeness or his over emotional state, he didn't care. He wanted Gwaine _to know_; and so he leant forward and rather timidly, placed his lips against the knight's jaw, kissing him slowly up and down his jaw line, leaving tiny glistening droplets of saliva on the brunette's stubble. He felt the man tense next to him and suddenly wondered if this had been a very bad decision. Soldiering on, he moved to the brunette's neck, kissing gently, nipping and sucking on the sensitive skin. It was when his mouth seemed to find a rather sensitive spot under Gwaine's ear that the knight reacted, pulling Leon closer to his side and groaning, loud and long and _needy. _

"Please." He said as Leon sucked lightly on the patch of skin again. He could feel himself hardening in his breeched as tiny ripples of pleasure raced around his body. "Leon, _please_." He gasped trying to manoeuvre the blonde to his mouth, he desperately wanted a kiss.

"Please what?" Leon asked before kissing the knight's closed eyelids. "This?" he taunted, hoping for a reaction. Gwain groaned in frustration as he felt the wet kisses on his eyelids, the blonde knew exactly what he was doing.

"No." he panted.

"This." Leon kissed his cheeks softly, licking the skin before pulling back, breath uneven.

"No." Gwaine nearly sobbed, wave after wave of heat licking his veins until eventually he got what he wanted.

Leon pressed his lips against the knight's, and began to move them together effortlessly, as if they were made to be together. He pushed Gwaine gently back against the bed as he continued to kiss him. Gwaine gasped and pulled Leon on top of him, thrusting his hips, and his cock against the blonde's.

"This?" Leon asked as he pulled himself from Gwaine's lips, panting for breath. As soon as the one syllable word slipped past Leon's lips he had reattached him self to Gwain, sucking, kissing and nipping on his neck as his right hand pinned both of the brunette's above his head.

"Please Leon, I need you." Gwain moaned; bucking his hips and connecting with nothing, he _needed_ friction. Leon smirked and rolled his hip, once sharply against Gwaine's as the younger man moaned and whimpered.

Gwaine's words echoed in his head; _I need you. _He was needed.

"Touch me." Gwaine pleaded, desperately trying to pull his hands from the blonde's grasp.

"I don't think I will." Leon teased; sitting back on his knees, hips settled firmly over Gwaine's preventing him from moving. Gwaine smiled as he realised Leon's mistake; the blonde, whilst leaning back, had released his hands. Laughing Gwaine flipped them over so that it was him lying above the blonde.

"Gwaine." Leon gasped, slightly dizzy at the sudden change in position. Gwaine smirked and pinned Leon's hands above his head as he began to roll his hips in a frantic rhythm. "So close." Leon groaned, thrusting to meet Gwain. His cock was desperately hard and he could feel the pre-come soaking into his trousers, causing them to stick to his skin.

Gwaine paused and tugged at Leon's breeches and tunic, pulling them off and leaving the slightly older man completely naked. The brunette couldn't help but stare as he drank in the sight of the blonde's naked body. Leon was lean, well defined and tan, which in Gwaine's book made him practically perfect. He traced the fingertips of his left hand gently over the ridges of Leon's abs, revelling in the emotions that flickered across the blonde's face. Leon's cock was resting against his stomach, pre-come collecting in a small pool on his stomach.

Gwaine leaned down and hovered his head over Leon's prick before looking back up at him from under his eyelashes. Making sure he held Leon's gaze he smirked before licking a line from the base of his cock to the tip. The older man groaned and threw his head back against the pillow as he struggled with the urge to thrust into his mouth. Gwaine swallowed his dick whole, so far that Leon could feel the back of the man's throat on the tip of his cock and it was a wonderful feeling.

Gwaine began to bob his head in earnest; loving the knowledge that he was causing the knight pleasure. He paused as he felt the sheets become taught and pulled away to check why; Leon's hands were fisted tightly in the sheets and his eyes were clenched tightly shut, in fact, his entire body was tense.

"Leon are you okay?" Gwain asked his voice slightly scratchy.

"I don't want to lose control, I don't want to hurt you." He replied, voice as tense as the rest of him. Gwaine paused to consider what the blonde said before responding.

"I want you to lose control." He said, watching as Leon's mouth fell open in surprise. He ran his hands from Leon's neck down to his tense hands and prized his fingers from the sheets and moved the blonde's right hand to the back of his head. He wrapped Leon's fingers around his head and smiled encouragingly at the knight. "I want you to fuck my mouth and pull my hair, I want you to leave marks on me that will be there for weeks." He said voice low and husky.

Leon groaned at the thought of his marks being on the man for the next few weeks for all of the knights to see, for _everybody _to see. He sat up; legs tangled with Gwaine's and pulled the brunette's head back sharply by his glossy, medium-length hair. As he bent Gwaine's head back his neck became exposed; long and thick, powerful and graceful at the same time and covered in beautiful tan skin that smelt just like Gwaine. He sunk his teeth into the column and bit until he tasted blood; pulling away he licked the droplets away before observing his handy-work. The bite mark was under the knight's right ear and looked beautiful, still leaking tiny pearls of red.

Before the brunette had a chance to voice how undeniably turned on he was the blonde forced his head back into his lap and ordered him to suck. Gwaine did so willingly, enjoying Leon's new found eagerness. Leon fucked his mouth with abandon, aware of the sounds the brunette was making, tiny whimpers and choking sounds as he struggled to breathe around Leon's impressive length.

Leon could feel the pleasure building, warmth spreading in the pit of his stomach; just as the sensations from Gwaine's mouth became too much the blonde pulled out before flipping the blonde onto his back, and pulling the tunic off him. He bit and licked his entire way down the brunette's chest; Gwaine's muscles were even more defined than his own, he mapped every blemish, battle wound and dent in the mans chest as he sent the man under him completely wild.

"Fuck me." Gwaine barked out as Leon began to remove his trousers. "I want you to fuck me." He repeated more calmly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, wanting to verify what he just heard. Gwaine arched his eyebrows in an _are-you-an-idiot _kind if way that left him feeling slightly bashful. He was now lay out entirely naked; it had been a while since he had been intimate with anyone but it couldn't have been more than six months. He wasn't scared or anxious like he normally was; the bravado that covered up his insecurities wasn't there as he didn't feel insecure, Leon made him feel safe.

Leon moved down exactly like he had before, until he was hovering over the brunette's cock. The only difference was what he did next, and what he did next was something that the brunette had never experienced before. Leon's tongue was circling his ass hole, pushing in slightly before retracting again, reverting to teasing him. He was a writhing moaning mess of incoherent babble when Leon finally made his way back up to his face, kissing his jaw lightly he positioned his cock at the brunette's entrance.

Gwaine wrapped his feet around his waist, feet crossed at the top of his ass. He was beginning to get impatient as Leon made no move to enter him so he pulled his legs closer to his body, forcing the blonde into him. Leon cried out at the sudden tightness and heat surrounding him and Gwaine cried out at the feeling of Leon inside him; he felt full, completely and utterly full. The blonde paused for a moment, giving both of them a chance to adjust to the sensation, before pulling out just an inch and thrusting slowly back in.

After a few gentle thrusts, Gwaine lost his patience and began to roll his hips up to Leon's thrusts, deliberately setting the pace so that the blonde would have no choice to fuck him hard and fast. Soon enough the knight was pushing frantically into his brunette lover, the sound of skin slapping together only causing the pleasure to increase; but Gwaine wanted _more_. He wanted to feel Leon _everywhere_.

"Harder… ahhh… god Leon… fuck… right there… oh god." He muttered into the blonde's ear as he sped up faster and began to hit his prostate with every thrust; causing stars to appear behind the brunette's eyes.

"Shit… Gwaine… so tight… fuck." Leon's incoherent slur joined Gwaine's as he fucked the knight to orgasm.

Gwaine came first, a blinding orgasm that caused thick white ropes of cum to splatter on both of their chests. It only took three thrusts after that for Leon to cum, the feeling of Gwaine's inner muscles contracting around him had pushed him over the edge. He came deep inside of the brunette, filling him completely with his seed.

Leon collapsed on Gwaine's chest as the brunette pulled the sheets over them.

"Gwaine I-" Leon began only to be cut off by the knight.

"We'll talk in the morning, now, let's rest and lie together and fool around until we fall into a coma." Gwaine begged, the tone of desperation in his voice causing the blonde not to question him.

"Just promise me one thing," Leon asked, waiting for the brunette's response.

"Anything."

"Be here when I wake up… please."

…

…

"Yes." He responded eventually, and apparently that was enough to satisfy the blonde's desperation to have a conversation about what had happened.

Gwaine woke in the morning, resting comfortably on Leon's chest, another role reversal. He recalled the events of the following evening with perfect clarity and blushed slightly as he remembered some of their antics. He sat up gently against the headboard and allowed the blonde to curl into his waist. Resting a hand in the knight's hair he began to run his fingers through it comfortingly, enjoying the sensation.

It was about half an hour later when Leon's manservant came crashing into the room, causing the blonde to stir.

"shhh." Gwaine hissed at the boy, who was now staring open mouthed at the bare-chested knight that his master was currently wrapped around. Leon had never let anyone sleep in his bed before apart from Morgana and Arthur. "Get out." The brunette barked at the boy as Leon stirred and the boy scrambled out of the room, dropping an entire jug of water on his way out.

"Incompetent fool." Leon muttered into Gwaine's chest as he heard the door shut.

"G'morning." Gwaine mumbled as he lent down to kiss Leon's head. After a few minutes of sitting there, basking in the complications of their new found relationship, Gwaine broke the silence.

"So… what do we do next?" he asked and Leon smiled, propping himself up on to his elbow so that he could see Gwaine's face.

"We lounge, wrapped around each other for a little while longer before asking my idiot manservant to retrieve us breakfast, which we will eat stark naked in this bed. Then we could have a bath, and fool around a bit, before going back to bed and fooling around some more."

Gwaine smiled at his answer. "I couldn't think of anything that I rather do, but what are we now… to each other I mean?"

Leon paused a second before answering, as honestly and as heartfelt as he could. "You're my reprieve." The blonde swallowed before continuing. "You're my version of what Merlin is to Arthur, you are my second chance, my soul mate." He paused again, looking down and fiddling with his hands nervously "I think that I love you." He finished waiting anxiously for a response.

Gwaine was a little shocked to be honest; he had harboured feelings for the man for a few years now, strong feelings that were really hard to hide and to hear Leon admitting to feeling the same things made his heart swell in his chest and his throat close up.

"I love you too Leon, you are everything to me." He replied, pulling the man into a heated kiss. Leon smiled and parted the kiss to get some much needed air. Gwaine rested their foreheads together for a second, before pulling him back in for another heated kiss.

"Lets skip breakfast." Someone gasped but it didn't matter which one of them it was, they had both been thinking the same thing.

"I agree." The other said as they sank to the bed once again.

**Like? Didn't like? Please comment and review. **


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Goodbyes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, any of its characters or plots, I just alter them.**

**Sorry it's been so long, I've been away with no internet for a week and a half, it honestly felt like I was missing a limb. **

**So, I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, please review : )**

Merlin

It was an invaluable comfort, after all of the pressure and sadness of the last few weeks, for Arthur and Merlin to lay in the Prince's bed, legs tangled and hands joined. Feeling another's heart beat in such close vicinity to yours… well it was indescribable. There were no words shared between them as there was no need; just gentle caresses, fingers running through hair and circles traced into arms. It was the proverbial _calm before the storm. _

All of the plans had been made; they knew who had to do what, where they had to be and when. The prince had spent hours with Leon, pouring over plans of the castle and cementing their plan of attack, which was going to be executed tomorrow.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked gently, on the verge of sleep.

"Hum?" Arthur made a mumbled sound in the affirmative, encouraging the warlock to continue.

"Don't die." Merlin asked quietly, voice timid and unsure. He was suddenly feeling very overwhelmed by the reality that this might be the last evening that they spent together. The young warlock could feel his tears welling up and in a stubborn refusal of emotions he screwed his eyes shut tightly, willing the tears not to fall.

Arthur's own throat tightened at the brunette's words; he didn't know what he would do if this was the last time he saw his love.

"…for me. Don't die, for me." The warlock added on as if it were an afterthought. At this, tears welled up in the blonde's eyes and fell silently down his face as he pulled the brunette closer to his side. Arthur didn't respond to Merlin's words; he never wanted to lie to him and promising him something that he couldn't guarantee was out of the question.

The brunette craned his neck and began to place gentle kisses on the strong jaw of the prince, praying to whatever god that there was that Arthur would remain okay throughout tomorrow. The blonde rolled over carefully, trapping the slighter man underneath him as he kissed his lips earnestly, wanting to convey his love.

"Promise me." Merlin gasped as he pulled his mouth harshly from Arthur's, panting from the lack of oxygen.

"I can't." Arthur answered, pulling back and looking the warlock in the eyes. Those two words were all that it took to reduce Merlin to a sobbing mess.

Startled by the outburst, Arthur sat up and pulled the warlock into his lap, identical the earlier days of their relationship. He rocked them back and forth, much like you would with a child; in fact Arthur could remember Leon holding him in a similar when he was upset.

"I'm sorry." He muttered into the warlock's hair. "_I'm sorry." _He emphasised. Not knowing what else to say.

Merlin clung to him, in a desperate attempt to keep him close, so close that he would never leave again. It was an odd sort of desperation; Merlin had never had anything that he was scared of losing, not a toy or a grandparent. And now suddenly the most important thing in his life was hanging in the balance and he was unprepared; he knew nothing of grief or how to handle loss, he had never lost anything worth grieving. He had known nothing of love until Arthur and now he couldn't imagine how empty his life would be without him, without love. It was overwhelming. There were no cards left to play, no backup plans, everything was going into this attack and if it failed Merlin would lose everything. It was like living in the dark for your entire life; not being able to see anything and then suddenly you're allowed to turn on the lights and you can see all the magnificent colours, different shades and textures. And finally, when you have learnt the name of all of them, and you have favourites and preferences, they turn off the lights again. And your left in the dark, knowing what all of the colours look like, stuck with memories, but never the real thing. Merlin was certain that if that happened, it would break him.

Arthur closed his eyes and rested his cheek on Merlin's head, still rocking them back and forth. He sat with the warlock until he drifted off to sleep, before laying him underneath the sheets and placing a kiss to his forehead.

"I love you." He whispered against the boy's skin, before kissing and leaving the room silently.

Gaius

Gaius was the next that the prince visited; he had left Merlin sleeping peacefully in his bed and had no doubt that he would be there when he returned. He had entered the physician's quarters at his invitation and was now sat next to him, looking at the many shelves that lined his walls, filled with hundreds of nameless potions and concoctions. It was homely.

The prince shared a strange kind of friendship with the physician; an alliance had formed, through mutual hatred of Uther's treatment of those with magic. Gaius had guided him through some tough times with wise words, like a grandfather.

The blonde knew he would miss this; the tea, the aimless chatter and in comparison, the deep, life-affirming conversations, the lessons in which Gaius tried to teach the prince about potions and plants and the blonde would just mess around and launch things at the walls as if he were two. But he knew that above all, he would miss just sitting here without saying anything and being comforted by the mere presence of the father come grandfather figure that had positively wedged himself in his life.

They didn't say anything; just sat in comfortable silence, remembering the good times, before grief had changed them both.

_The physician had known the little prince for three months when one day the boy came charging into his quarters and into the adjoining room at the end of the room. Gaius paused his actions of bottling a muscle relaxant for the knights and carefully placed it down on the bench before following the blonde. _

_The little boy was curled up on the old bed in the corner of the room; lay on his side in a foetal position. Gaius walked around the bed so that he could see the boy's face, he was shocked to see the angry red mark on the blonde's cheek. _

"_What happened my boy?" Gaius asked, sitting on the bed and placing a hand on the boy's back. He had been shocked the first time Arthur had come to him with marks on his body and even more shocked to discover it was the king that put them there. However, he was now resigned to the fact that there was nothing he could do about it. Uther was the king and therefore a blind eye would be turned to all of his indiscretions. _

_Arthur stared blankly at the wall as he told the story of how he had made his Mother cry. Apparently Ygraine had stated that they were happy tears, but apparently her words had not been enough to placate Uther and he had struck the boy without second thought. _

_Gaius pulled the boy up after he had released a few tears and wiped the blonde's face. _

"_Now," he said. "Do you want to see something special?" he asked and watched as the prince's eyes lit up with excitement. _

"_Yes please." He said, nodding his head vigorously. _

"_Arthur, if I show you, you have to swear to keep it secret. You cannot tell anyone, not your mother or your father, only Leon, okay?" he explained, knowing he could trust the prince if he explained the situation. The blonde boy nodded again. _

"_Okay." _

"_Very good then." Gaius concluded as he stood up and walked about three paces away from boy and searched deep in his memory for the words that he needed, Finding them, locked away in some deep recess at the back of his mind. _

_He muttered the words with reverence as watched in awe, as, for the first time in ten years, his magic flared up, creating a beautiful image that pranced around the room, leaving a trail of glitter and sparks. _

_Arthur watched, with avid curiosity, as the baby dragon made of gold sparks flew around their heads. _

"_Magic isn't always evil Arthur, it can be beautiful and helpful and _good_." He said stressing his point. _

_Arthur smiled and lay back on the bed before pulling the sheets over his body. _

"_I know Gaius." He said "Do you think that maybe you could… never mind." He stopped, shaking his head and blushing. _

_Gaius smiled, knowing what he wanted without the prince having to say it. He concentrated on the baby dragon, watching as it transformed into an identical dragon, only made out of wood. _

_He placed the dragon in the boy's hand before kissing his forehead and tucking him in._

"_Don't worry, little prince. The dragon will look after you, as long as you have it with you." _

_The prince gripped the physician's hand, refusing to let go, forcing the old man to pull up a chair and settle in it until the prince was asleep enough that he could free his hand, and in all honesty, he wouldn't have it any other way. _

The final farewell, in some ways, would be the hardest. Biding farewell to Leon, his oldest friend and comrade, would be the most difficult thing he would have to do tonight. Although saying goodbye to Merlin had been painful, the prince was assured that even if he didn't survive, the warlock would. The fact that the warlock would live on reassured him.  
>However there was no guarantee that his brother would survive; no safety nets or protectors. Nothing. He was leaving Leon with the sole duty of protecting his warlock, <em>at all costs<em>, as they had discussed earlier.  
>Their plan had been simple, Arthur killed Uther whilst Leon protected Merlin; Arthur had no doubt that Uther would have sent people after Merlin, knowing that it was the most direct way to hurt him.<p>

Then there were contingencies; if Uther died and everyone else survived then Arthur became king and everyone was happy. If Uther and Arthur died, Leon was to become king and prevent the warlock from doing anything stupid, looking after him till old age. If the king, Leon and Arthur died then Merlin was to become king with Gwain as his regent, a helping hand to guide him through it all, Gwaine would hold all of the power until he and the council decided that he could deal with it all on his own. Both Leon and Arthur held secret hope that if neither of them returned tomorrow, Gwaine and Merlin would find comfort in each other and maybe even a relationship. The final plan was the worst-case-scenario plan; if Uther lived, the remaining survivors fled.  
>He didn't knock on Leon's door, they never had before and he didn't feel the need now. However he wished he had when he walked in.<br>Leon was lay, shirtless and writhing, underneath an equally undressed Gwaine.  
>"Jesus Leon!" he shouted as he shielded his eyes and shut himself in the room, away from the prying eyes of any noisy maids.<br>"Arthur!" Leon said scrambling up from the bed and pulling his undershirt on, before throwing Gwaine's at the knight's chest.  
>Composing himself, Arthur turned to face his brother. "That was a surprise, Sir Gwaine." Arthur commented before nodding his greeting at the brunette.<br>Gwaine flushed under he gaze of his prince and hopefully soon, king.  
>"Sire... We were just..." Gwaine trailed off unsure of how they were going to get out of this situation.<br>"I'm well aware of what you were doing Sir Gwaine, my concern lies with _whom you were doing_." Arthur retorted smugly, finding great pleasure in the knight's discomfort.  
>"Stop it Arthur." Leon said, smiling slightly now that he knew his brother was joking.<br>"Alright Leon." the prince's smile was replace with a frown. "I have important matters to discuss with you."  
>Leon's smile also faded, time for farewells. He suddenly found himself quite overcome with emotion, he kind of emotion that choked your throat and stung your eyes. He turned to Gwaine and opens his mouth as if to say something, before apparently thinking better of it and closing it without muttering a word. He then turned and looked at his brother, letting out a strangled sound that caught in his throat and left his mouth feeling dry. "Arthur."<br>He blonde immediately collapsed in front of his brother holding their foreheads together by placing a hand on the back of the knight's neck.  
>"I know." the prince said, sounding closer to tears than Gwaine had ever heard him. "Believe me Leon, I know."<br>They sat together for a while, holding themselves close together, gaining comfort from not only their whispered words but their closeness as well. Eventually Gwaine felt as if he was intruding on a very private moment so he moved in front of Leon's fire and polished the blonde knight's sword with deft fingers. He was applying such care to his job, sharpening the blade as much as physically possible; tomorrow, in the heat of battle, this blade could be the only thing standing in between Leon's death or his safe return and so he wasn't going to take any chances.  
>He knew nothing of the brotherly words they shared that night, or how they comforted them. He had never had a brother or a sister with which to share comforting nonsense.<br>Time flowed as he sharpened Leon's sword, once he was finished he moved onto the armour, taking just as much care with it; knowing it could protect the knight from a knife attack or even an arrow. He stopped his vigorous work only when the prince placed a hand on his shoulder. Jumping up he straightened his clothes out and waited for the prince to say what he obviously wanted to. He scanned the room in search of Leon and when he couldn't see him, concluded that he must have left upon Arthur's request.  
>"Leon and I have always been close; I relied on him heavily in a time of need and I have recently found great need of him once more. The love we share has always been of a brotherly nature, perhaps sometimes more father and son, but one thing is sure, it never lacked in strength. I have watched him as he showed his sorrow at my loneliness and tried to integrate me with the knights. I will always resent myself because of that, for all of the work he put into my relations with others he never once thought of himself. I had feared, until recently, that he would never find another that he would trust enough to love and my happiness that he found that in you is too large to be expressed. Truly, I will be honoured to call you my kin Gwaine and hope that you two will find great strength in each other in the future." the blonde finished with unshed tears in his eyes and reddened cheeks; he had never expressed emotions this feverishly in front of another before and suddenly wished he could embrace the knight.<br>He had little time to contemplate this however, as Gwaine pulled the blonde into an awkward-one-armed-man-hug.  
>"Thank you sire." Gwaine mumbled and Arthur smiled before responding in a confident voice.<br>"It's just Arthur, Gwaine."  
>Leon returned to the room just as the men parted, looking red eyed and upset. Gwaine moved to embrace him tenderly, showing his happiness at Arthur's acceptance with actions instead of words.<br>"Are you okay?" he whispered to Leon, quietly enough that the prince wouldn't hear.  
>"I will be." he replied, kissing Gwaine softly before hugging him again.<br>"I'm going to give you both some time together, I'll be in my chambers if you want to see me again before the morning." he said before pulling away and walking to the door. "Sire." Gwaine bowed at the prince, receiving only a playful arch of an eyebrow in return. "Arthur." he amended.  
>"I shall see you soon." Leon called, but the door was already closed.<p>

The two remaining men walked solemnly towards the rug by the fire and sat down, faces to the flames. They didn't say anything for a moment and then they both began at the same time.  
>"I'm gla-"<br>"Than-"  
>They laughed, and then Leon spoke, seriousness<br>seeping into his voice.  
>"Thank you, for treating Gwaine so amiably." Leon said and Arthur frowned.<br>"You spent do long focusing on me and doing nothing for yourself; I feared that you would never find someone for yourself. Granted that I would have preferred to find out another way, walking in to find you kissing him was certainly not very high on my to-do list." the blonde paused as they both laughed. "I felt responsible for your loneliness and I wanted to do something about it for so long, I just never knew what to do." the prince admitted shyly, staring intently at the floor.  
>"Oh Arthur," Leon sighed. "I never wanted you to feel as if you were to blame, to be honest I never realised how nice it was to have someone to share things with before Gwaine." he smiled softly, a nostalgic smile that told of happiness and times long passed where no one died and goodbyes were never needed. "I always had you, brother."<br>Arthur hadn't expected Leon's farewell to end like this, but he was glad it did. Sometimes, he realised, the unexpected things turn out to be the best. He was feeling better now; Leon had a relationship and another person to love and be loved by, if anything happened to him tomorrow he wouldn't worry about leaving Leon on his own for Leon had Gwaine.  
>They said goodbye, at about two hours past midnight with embraces and thank yous that spoke no only of he deeds done in the past few hours, but everything they had done for each other over their entire lifetimes. A muttered I love you from each man was followed only by the sound of footsteps as hey parted ways for the meantime.<p>

Quickly after his brother had left, Leon strode towards Gwaine's chambers, seeking out the man just because he wanted his company. He found the brunette shirtless, lay stomach down on his own bed, arms and legs flopping over the sides, snoring loudly. Leon laughed silently and allowed his whole face to light up with a smile. Walking over to the bed, he stripped off his clothes before curling next to Gwaine under the sheets. Gwaine stirred at the movement and pulled himself closer to the blonde, burrowing his head into Leon's neck.  
>"I love you." Leon whispered into the brunette's hair before kissing his head.<br>"Wuv you too." Gwaine replied sleepily, curling into the blonde. Leon smiled another whole-face-smile that made everything seem just a little bit brighter. The two men eventually drifted off to receive only a few fitful hours of interrupted sleep because they both knew what tomorrow might bring.

Arthur returned to Merlin after walking around the castle once again. The walk hadn't been a good buy to the walls of the castle as such, but what it stood for, memories and people.  
>Admittedly, a small, small nostalgic, immature part of him was saying good buy to the bricks. The ancient bricks that had protected kings from outside attacks for years and years, no king had ever thought that they were to be attacked from the inside; therefore they were never built to withstand that kind of attack. He walked for about an hour, stopping only when his thoughts drifted to Merlin. Returning to the room Arthur removed his armour and looked around the room, searching for Merlin. Not finding him he called out expecting to see him emerge from the bed or perhaps the changing screen.<br>Panic unlike any other began to course through Arthur's body; he didn't know where the warlock was. After a few minutes of frantic search he commanded himself to calm down; he was a soldier, and he had to look at this objectively. Okay. Assuming that Merlin left of his own accord, then he would either be in the cave  
>or with Gaius. Considering that Merlin had connected more with the dragon and spent more time confiding in him, he could imagine that that was where he was.<br>His journey to the caves was swift, worry causing his feet to move quickly and silently.  
>As he was walking down the steps leading to the caverns he could see footprints that looked distinctively like Merlins and so he slowed his pace and walked along, hugging wall, not wanting to interrupt any private moment that he might be sharing with the dragon.<br>Eavesdropping was much more heroic.

"What if he doesn't come back tomorrow 'Garah? What will I do?" Merlin's voice travelled to the prince's ears along with some sniffles and hiccups, he was crying.  
>"There will be nothing you can do, young warlock." the dragon began, his deep voice rumbling and gravely. "You will have to learn to live without him."<br>At his Merlin's sniffles turned into loud sobs that swallowed him up and echoed loudly to the prince. Arthur let his back fall against the rock and his head crack against the wall, his eyes scrunched shut as if Merlins pain was his own.  
>"I can't lie without him, and not just in some mushy he-dies-I-die lovey kind of way. He showed me everything; different foods, different drinks, how to look after armour, how to be happy. I feel lost when he isn't with me, lonely, like I'm the only person there... And in the he-dies-I-die lovey kind of way as well." Merlin was still hiccupping in some places but it sounded like he was smiling through his tears.<br>"If Arthur falls tomorrow, I will find a way to bring him back... Or I will find a way to end myself."  
>At this Arthur jumped away from the wall and ran into the cave, his anger palpable.<br>"You shall not." he roared, voice echoing around the cavern. Merlin jumped at the voice as he had not known that the prince was there, the dragon, however, didn't even flinch.  
>"Arthur I-" Merlin began only to have his sentence cut off by the angry words of the prince.<br>"Tell me this is some kind of joke. Tell me you wouldn't really be that stupid." he said the anger still present but swallowed by weariness.  
>"I...Arthur..." tears continued to fall down the warlock's cheeks; his eyes were puffy from all the tears and his face quite red. "I can't." he admitted, and Arthur reeled back as if he had been struck. He stumbled backwards rather clumsily until he could lean on the cavern wall<em>. He was going to kill himself if Arthur didn't survive<em>.  
><em>Merlin would be dead<em>.  
>Merlin stood and moved towards the blonde carefully, like he was trying not to startle a frightened animal. Deciding that it was most likely best to leave Arthur to his thoughts Merlin sat, about fifteen feet from the prince, and watched him.<br>Arthur's thoughts didn't really make sense; they were jumbled and mixed up, but they all centred on the same thought; _Merlin wasn't going to live_. The shock was prominent, and allowed very little room for any other emotion.  
>It took a while but eventually the shock wore off; it was like thawing ice, first he could feel his toes and fingers, next were legs and arms. It continued like this until he was quite able to stand and pull the warlock to his feet, shaking him vigorously as if he was trying to shake all thoughts of suicide from his mind.<br>"_Why_? Why would you do that?" he asked repeatedly, only stopping when Merlin place his hands on either side of his face.  
>"I've been alone before Arthur and I have no intention of doing it again. I need you like I need air, you helped me through everything, showed me what to do and what to expect. I wouldn't make it on my own."<br>Arthur frowned as he heard Merlins words, responding in the only way he could.

"You would make it on your own, you'd learn because you would have to, because the only thing keeping me going and allowing me to fight tomorrow is the fact that _you will survive_."  
>Merlins face dropped when he realised what he blonde was saying; yes it would be hard, but by killing himself he was letting Arthur down. "If you died tomorrow Merlin I would want nothing more to do with the world that took you from me, but I would not take myself out of it because I have a duty to my people and myself, and I would know that you didn't die so that I could kill myself."<br>Merlin sniffed and a few more tears fell. "I'm sorry Arthur, I don't know what I was thinking." they sat together for a few minutes and just as the prince was going to suggest that they get some real sleep in a real bed, he noticed that the warlock was already asleep.  
>He nodded his thanks at kilgharrah for not saying anything while they talked as he hoisted the brunette up into his arms.<br>"Thank you, Percival will be by first light to release you so that you can help, please don't betray us kilgharrah."  
>The great dragon laughed and threw his head back.<br>"So he still hasn't told you then." he laughed gesturing towards the seeping wizard.  
>"Told me what?" Arthur demanded, patience wearing thin; he just wanted to return to his chambers and sleep.<br>"It is his secret to tell." The dragon said as he turned and flew away.

By the time Arthur had placed Merlin gently on the bed his arms were burning from the excursion. He collapsed next to the brunette who was still sleeping. In one final burst of energy he pulled the covers over them both and allowed himself to drift off to sleep, thinking nothing of what was to come tomorrow.

**What do you think?**


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Spoken Without Words

**I'm sorry, please don't shoot! I have been struggling a lot recently with coursework and other things and I have simply not found the time to write. I would like to let you know that their will only be one or two chapters after this one and then the story will come to an end. I am prepared to write a sequel, depending on how many people would be interested, so please just drop me a review telling me if you want a sequel and what you might want to happen. So again, I'm sorry about the wait, here it is, chapter sixteen…**

When he awoke the next morning the sky was still dark. Arthur dragged himself silently out of bed and began to stumble towards his wardrobe still half asleep. Eyes still half closed he was surprised when he caught his foot on a chair leg and tumbled to the floor, pulling with him, a pitcher of water and his armour. The clatter was immense and the sudden noise caused the warlock to jolt awake. The sight of Merlin, with bed hair and rumpled clothes was almost enough to stop the blonde swearing. Almost.  
>"Owwwww, shit, my toe." he whined, tears gathering in his eyes as his toe throbbed. Merlin rushed over, unsure of what was wrong and began to fuss over the blonde.<br>"What happened?" he said, and Arthur noted, with a hint of pride, that the time Merlin had spent with Gaius had proven useful. Merlin sounded confident and sure, like a physician; not panicking and trying to help their patient as best as they can.  
>"Stubbed my toe." he whined childishly, pulling his knee up to his chest and rolling around on his back, trying to think of anything but the pain. Merlin sighed and rolled his eyes at the prince.<p>

"Anyone would have thought it was serious Arthur." He moaned, plonking himself down next to the prince, crossed legged and rather gracelessly. As Merlin spoke Arthur smirked; he waited until the brunette had finished speaking before he pulled the warlock down on top of him so that they were lying in a tangle of arms and legs.

They sat for about ten minutes, contemplating the rest of the day and the possible outcomes, neither wanting to think about the people that might be lost, but not wanting to kid themselves into thinking that everyone would be ok, Arthur eventually placed a kiss to Merlin's temple before standing and attempting his walk over to the wardrobe again.

He pulled out clothes that were heavy and dark, believing that although he would get warm, the extra padding might protect him from a knife attack. After pulling on the clothes he walked over to the mirror and took in his appearance, committing the boy before him to memory; _either way, he wasn't coming back the same person tonight… if he came back at all._

Merlin still lay on the floor, appraising the blonde. Arthur looked as if he were attending a funeral, all solemn in black. He looked different, older, as if he had the weight of the entire world on his shoulders and Merlin supposed that in some ways, he did.

Making a decision, Merlin stood shakily and walked over to the chest of draws that held the small number of clothing that he had accumulated from Arthur's wardrobe and searched through until he found the bright blue top that was much to long for him. Ripping a strip from the bottom, Merlin tucked it into his back pocked before waling over to help the prince with his armour.

The gauntlets were the last to go on, and after he had done the last buckle a feeling of helplessness washed over the teen. He looked up at Arthur, all blonde hair and tan and _beauty, _he decided that it was worth asking.

"Arthur, let me spell the armour." He asked, sounding marginally braver than he felt.

The blonde looked as if he were considering the offer for a moment, before he answered with a firm "No."

"Please, Arthur." Merlin tried again. "I cannot help you in anyway today, so let me do this." He explained, tears welling up in his eyes at the conversation and the day ahead. "Please." He pleaded, trying one last time to show Arthur how worried he was.

Arthur looked at the brunette before nodding ever so slightly, not once breaking eye contact. Merlin's smile was reward enough; it was one of those breathtaking ones that made the blonde think _what did I do to deserve someone so pure and good. _

Merlin quickly got to work, muttering incantations and running his hands over the cool metal. Finally, once he was finished, Arthur stretched his arms as if to try out his new addition. Deeming it perfectly workable and safe Arthur turned to the brunette and smiled, pulling the boy into a kiss. The kiss was sweet and tender, the kind of kiss that made your knees go weak, your heart jump and your head to become light from lack of oxygen.

"There is one more thing, sire." Merlin jested and they both forgot momentarily of their current predicament. "Close your beautiful, noisy eyes." He continued to tease the prince and the blonde scoffed, choosing to ignore the insults and let his warlock have his fun. He did, however, do as he was asked and closed his eyes.

Merlin pulled the vibrant deep blue cloth from his pocket and wrapped it around the prince's bicep, before wrapping it down his arm in a crossed pattern. When he got the blonde's gauntlet he stopped, wrapping it round the blonde's forearm twice and tying it off, letting the loose ends dangle from under his arm.

Merlin smiled and nodded, pleased with his work before tapping the blonde on the arm, giving him silent permission to open his eyes.

Arthur's eyes adjusted to the light quickly and soon he could see the beautiful deep blue fabric wrapped around his arm. The thoughtfulness of the gesture touched Arthur even though he was sure that the warlock didn't understand the social meaning behind his actions. Merlin had just presented him with a favour, a traditional way in which the ladies of the court expressed interest in a knight.

Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist, resting his hands on the brunette's hips, pulling their lower half's flush together. Merlin gasped slightly at the sudden movement before placing his hands on Arthur's shoulders.

"Do you favour me Merlin, do you like me?" the blonde teased, nipping slightly at the skin of the brunette's neck.

"Hu?" Merlin replied eloquently in a questioning tone, the kisses that Arthur was now bestowing upon him distracting him completely.

"Traditionally, ladies of the court offer knights favours, sleeves of dresses, hankies, strips of fabric to show that they are interested in a relationship with that person. And if the knight is interested back, he will wear that fabric on his arm, so that everyone can see that he is dedicating the fight to that other person." The prince explained, still kissing the brunette.

"Oh… I didn't mean it like that… not that I don't like you, 'cause I do… I mean, you're nice and…" Merlin's embarrassed, disjointed sentence eventually trailed off as he buried his head in the blonde's neck, trying to hide his quickly reddening cheeks as the prince laughed boisterously.

"I knew what you meant my love." Arthur consoled, his laughter dying down into soft chuckles as he pulled the brunette into a hug, running one hand through the soft black/brown hair that covered Merlin's head.

Merlin slapped Arthur's chest half-heartedly, most likely doing more damage to himself than the metal plating on the blonde's chest.

"Do you have to go?" Merlin asked, not knowing for certain how to tell the time of day or when they were going to start.

"Yes." Arthur replied simply, knowing that Merlin wouldn't appreciate any lies or diversion tactics. Merlin smiled bitterly, nodding his head in resignation.

"Know then, that I love you, more than I have ever loved anything or anyone." Merlin said quietly, wanting the blonde to know how much he meant to him.

Arthur's eyes welled up and his chest swelled at the confession.

Arthur didn't really know how to respond in an equal way; he had never been good with words or expressing his emotions and he knew that anything that he could say would pale compared to Merlin's words. So he didn't.

He just settled for a very honest and heartfelt "I love you too, my warlock." And undeniably, that was the exact thing that Merlin needed to hear.

They held each other in the centre of the room until a knock sounded on the door. Neither Arthur nor Merlin moved until the person knocked again and then reluctantly Arthur pulled away and mumbled out a string of syllables that sounded vaguely like "Come in."

Leon's tired face and sunken eyes poked around the door. He nodded once in greeting to Merlin fist and then turned to his brother. "I'm sorry Arthur, but time's up."

Arthur frowned and nodded. He tugged Merlin impossibly closer, resting his chin on top of the brunette's head. He lets go quickly, saying nothing; afraid that if he lets one word out that they will all come tumbling out in a unstoppable flood of pleads and declarations of love that he doesn't wish to share with anyone, today of all days.

Releasing Merlin, Arthur walked over to Leon and embraced his brother quickly in a one arm hug that portrayed all the feelings they had shared.

And then, without looking back, Arthur strode from the room, sword at his side and Merlin's fabric around his arm.

**Did you like it? Final battle next, what will happen? Reminder; drop me a review regarding this chapter or a sequel please, I love to here from you, it literally makes my day. And I can not apologize enough for the wait. **


	17. Chapter Seventeen: The Final Battle

**Okay folks, this is the final chapter *sob*. In case you didn't see it last week I would just like to say that depending on how many people are interested there might be a sequel, so please let me know if you want one. Please enjoy the last chapter and read the thank you's at the bottom.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Merthur dreamer (reasons in AN at bottom of page).**

Arthur was crouched; muscles coiled perfectly waiting for the perfect moment to spring. His back was to the wall in an alcove just to the right of the heavy throne room doors.

Any second now, the warning bell would be set off by two guards who were loyal to the prince, the warning bell would mean that Uther would come to the throne room to investigate the disturbance, and then, Arthur would kill him.

It was almost strange, the nonchalance in which the blonde referred to parricide would seem distant and cold to an observer, but to Arthur it felt like justice…karma.

He could think of nothing more at this moment that would give him greater pleasure than watching his father fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness.

Forgiveness which he would not grant.

The young blonde, however, was unaware of how much like his vindictive father he was acting. The similarities were blaringly obvious; the calculating look, lack of connection to his surroundings, distance in preparation to loose everything that he holds dear.

The first bell rang and Arthur rose slowly, pushing his back against the wall.

On the second bell Arthur took a breath and collected himself; _think of who you are doing this for, for Morgana and the way he treated her, for Mother and what he put her through, so that Leon and Gwaine can have a family, so that Camelot can strive towards a brighter future with magic and unity and trust. And most importantly, so that he and Merlin could live together, as husbands, with children, until they were old and grey. So that he could look back, on his death bed and think that I really couldn't have done anymore, I tried my best and for once, it was good enough. _

The third bell made Arthur draw his sword silently, and rest it flatly across his chest.

The fourth bell and Arthur could hear footsteps, heavy steps that indicated an idle king on an idle throne that cared more for gorging himself at banquets than the good of kingdom. _And idle king is a stupid king_, Arthur thought bitterly.

On the fifth bell the prince heard the voice of his father, loud and frenzied, shouting words that made no sense, which had no relevance to the situation.

But the prince had no time to contemplate the strange words and their meaning, and in his concentrating he heard not the softer footfalls that accompanied his fathers.

The bell rang again, the sixth time, and the door opened. Arthur saw his fathers expanding waistline and golden crown first, and held his breath, suddenly feeling like a child hiding in the dark; as if every breath and blink could be heard as the fear and adrenaline coursed through his body.

Uther was half way towards the obnoxiously large throne when his son moved from the wall; the prince, stealthy as always from his rigorous training, stepped quietly and quickly from his hiding place and griped his father, placing his sword around his neck.

"Give me one reason _father."_ Arthur hissed, spitting the last word as if he had dirtied himself just by speaking it. He pulled tighter, a small rivulet of blood trickling from where the tip of his sword was cutting into his father's neck.

"Arthur." His name was spoken from behind him, causing a chock to run down his spine. The voice was familiar in a way that sounded unknown, but he wasn't sure if it was the tone or the person that he did not know; he concluded however, when he turned around, it was both.

Morgana stood there, hands clasped in front of her, expression blank. She was beautiful, black lace dress that followed the curves of womanhood that she had developed over the long years they had been parted, black hair falling in tresses down her back and shoulders, so long that it almost touched her thighs.

"You were dead." He said reeling back, dropping his sword and falling on his bum, to the floor, trying frantically to scramble back as quickly as possible. "I watched you burn on the pyre, I mourned you." He hollered, emotions muddled.

The plan, as far as it had gone, had escaped his mind almost as soon as he and seen her calculating blue eyes staring at him.

"I never died brother, I merely wanted you to think that, Uther wanted you to think that." She said in a monotone, seemingly unaffected by her brother's distress.

"You, Morgana, are no sister of mine." He said defiantly, standing quickly, the only thought on his mind that of hurting Morgana and his father beyond even Gaius' capable hands. The sword that he had gripped in his hand shone as he plunged it towards his fathers back, with the honest intention of plunging through his father's chest, _you stab my back, and I'll stab yours. _

However his hand was stopped midair by a useable force, for a moment, Arthur's thoughts drifted to the warlock whom was safe in his chambers, but the last thing he saw or thought before the world went back were his sister's eyes, glowing gold.

…

…

…

He awoke, groggy and in pain. He knew he was kneeling, legs under his bum, hands tied behind his back on the cold throne room floor but he didn't know how long he had been out. He opened his eyes and blinked at the bright light that stung his eyes in a punishing manner as if he had done something wrong.

He looked around the room and suddenly became rigid as he saw his father and Morgana staring at him, as if they were waiting for him to say something; he did not disappoint.

"You_ hated_ her. That is what I am failing to see, you wouldn't even acknowledge her, you wouldn't even look at her." He stated, watching as the witch's eyes hardened.

Neither of them granted the prince a response. Instead Uther nodded at a guard standing at the door, a guard that he recognised from the rebellion.

"Traitor." He hissed hoping that the boy would realise what his actions had done.

The guard ignored him and opened the door, allowing three guards to enter the room, dragging with them three limp bodies. Frowning Arthur stared hard at the prisoners, praying reverently that the messy mop of black hair wasn't his warlock.

But of course it was, and Leon and Gwaine.

The one group of people that he had wished to protect more than anyone were currently joining him, kneeling and bound at the feet of the man who wanted them to suffer the most.

His eye filled with tears as the men were dumped in front of him and didn't stir. They were pale and unmoving and appeared quite dead.

"Merlin?" Arthur whispered, his throat constricting around the rest of the sentence as the tears fought to break free.

"Don't worry brother, they are not dead, or at least not yet." Morgana smiled smugly, allowing the victory to swell in her mouth and fill her chest with warmth. She held up her hand and muttered in a language that Merlin used when casting spells, however the words on her lips seemed harsh and violent, not comforting and good like when Merlin used them to create a wooden dragon or to warm a bath.

Merlin sat suddenly, gasping terribly for breath as he bought his hands to his chest in a desperate effort to stop his heart from splitting from his ribs. Arthur watched as the brunettes head spun around frantically looking for someone or something, and when they settled on Morgana he happened to freeze, before scrambling backwards into Arthur's chest, a chest that he hadn't known was there.

Merlin turned and flung himself at the prince desperately seeking the comfort that the blonde brought to him.

"Merlin, listen." Arthur whispered, needing the brunette to understand how important his next words were. "Unbind me quietly, do not let Morgana hear, I know she means something to you in some way, you can tell me later but now we have to kill them. You are the only one with magic so you have to kill Morgana and I have to kill my father. You have to be brave for me."

Merlin nodded and collected himself against Arthur, swallowing his fear, she could not hurt him now, he had his magic.

Assuming that the blonde was offering his whore words of comfort Morgana laughed before casting the brunette backwards onto the floor to lay exposed on his back.

"Hello my little whore," she mocked. "Miss me?" she asked and having received no answer, slapped him across the face, tearing open his cheek with her signet ring.

"Arthur doesn't bind you, did I repress your magic so much that you can't even use it more?" she laughed, kicking him once, harshly in the ribs. Merlin winced as he heard some of them crack and felt the hot pain that followed quickly.

Arthur, however, repressed the urge to smile; Morgana believed that Merlin was powerless.

Arthur caught the brunette's eye and nodded once before smiling reassuringly and mouthing the words _I love you. _ Merlin mimicked his actions before rolling onto his front to hide the golden flash in his eyes as he undid Arthur's binds.

The blonde jumped up swiftly and lunged for his sword that still lay at the centre of the room as Merlin's eyes flashed again, sending the brunette witch flying into the wall.

The duels were harsh and unforgiving. Uther matched Arthur's every stroke with equal rigour for a while, both parties getting slightly tired from the excursion. However the fatigue showed more on the older man who was beginning to flounder under the force of his son's blows. Eventually Arthur tripped the king, sending him tumbling to the ground, his sword falling quite out of reach.

"I am not sorry for doing this father, I'm just sorry for not doing it sooner." He admitted harshly before plunging the sword into the chest of Uther Pendragon.

Merlin and Morgana were fighting fiercely; launching curses and hexes at each other without any strategic thinking more advanced than kill. Like her king, the witch fell, groaning in pain as a curse hit her chest rendering her weak and powerless.

"Do you know me?" Merlin asked of the witch, smirking slightly as she shook her head in the negative, _I do not. _

"My name, Morgana, is Emrys." He whispered, allowing the news to sink in for a minute and the shock to appear on her face before he killed her with out remorse.

That evening Arthur stood in his chambers watching from his window, as two pyre's burned bright and fierce, enhanced by Merlin's magic. The blonde was adamant that this time, Morgana would _burn._ The damage to the castle had been virtually nonexistent. The dragon had needed to do nothing more than sit threateningly on the roof and that coupled with the knowledge that the king and his sorceress had fallen, caused the people still fighting for the king to surrender.

Leon and Gwaine had been fine with a little help from Gaius they were soon up and about again, all touchy feely and hopelessly in love. The only reason that Arthur toned the merciless teasing down was due to the fact that a certain brunette had threatened to withhold kisses if the teasing continued.

Arthur had been fair at the time, giving all those who had fought with Uther until sundown to leave the city and find refuge with another king. He had claimed he wanted no one in his kingdom who couldn't deal with the changes he was about to make.

Merlin walked over to the prince and wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist. Arthur placed his hands over Merlin's that were resting on his stomach and lent back into the brunette. As the pyre's burned, removing from Arthur's life, his last remaining family, Merlin recalled what the prince had said when he addressed his people.

"_Let it be known, from here to the corners of the five kingdoms, that today Camelot became a kingdom free of oppression and dictatorship. Let it be heard in every home, that your efforts to free yourselves from Uther Pendragon were successful, and that any future attempts to disrupt Camelot or her citizens will be crushed the same way. _

_On this day, I myself know of your loss and grief. People have been lost today; brave people that we can never replace, that we will never attempt to, for they preformed the ultimate sacrifice, dying themselves so that we could live. And it shall be recognised, until the walls of Camelot crumble from old age, what every person did, their name, their age and the people they left behind; for those people are the bravest I will know._

_There is one last thing I ask of you, my people. One more thing that I know you will struggle with…" Arthur turned and gestured Merlin forward before clasping their hands together and entwining their finger for all to see. "Not only will I announce today that I have found a person that completes me so, but I will also grant you an opportunity. Merlin Emrys, my partner, is a warlock, perhaps the most powerful to have lived. And today, you all owe him your lives, for he granted your freedom in the battle. It was him who saved your lives, the lives of your friend and those of your families. Magic is returning to Camelot; a new age and a new bond between magical and non-magical people to strengthen this kingdom from all forms of attack._

_I know some of you are fierce supporters of the late king, and I will not ask you to stand here and remain in a place that you do not want to be in. therefore I ask all that fought with my father to leave Camelot and never return, you shall go and seek refuge in another kingdom and spread word of the strength of Camelot; of her new king and her new prince and of all the people willing to defend her, magical and non-magical._

_Leave now, you have until night fall."_

_Arthur's words had evoked many emotions from the people, some joy, some pride, confusion and anger and even some fear. But only after they had left the front steps and retreated into their rooms did Merlin finally speak._

"_Their Prince?" he questioned, wanting to know if the blonde had meant it._

_Arthur walked over to his cabinet and opened a draw before pulling out something and hiding it in his hand. He walked back over to Merlin and placed both of his hands on the brunette's throat pulling him into a deep kiss._

_Sinking to his knee, Arthur opened his fist and presented the silver band to Merlin._

_As far as engagement bands went, Merlin had never seen one more beautiful. It was silver with a strange golden strip spiralling around it; it looked almost like molten gold, as if it were flowing. And held a small diamond set deep into the middle of it. _

_Arthur retrieved Merlin's left hand and selected his ring finger. He brought the ring just up to the tip before pausing and looking up at the brunette. Once again, no words were needed to portray the love that they felt for each other and Merlin felt himself nodding, wholeheartedly. _

"_Yes." He whispered softly, smiling in his joy as Arthur slipped the ring onto his finger. He sank down onto his knees and continued to kiss the blonde passionately, until all they could think about was the feeling of their lips and their hands and their naked skin touching in all the right places._

_Merlin curled into Arthur's chest and wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist, thinking, now, now I can finally breathe._

**I would like to thank everyone for their support; the reviews, the story and author alerts, as this was my first story your support has been invaluable. Thank you so much and for one last time, please let me know what you think. If people aren't happy I might do an alternate ending.**

**I would like to say a special thank you to the following:**

**Merthur dreamer: Your review made me cry, it was so kind and it literally made all the work that I have put into this story worth while, and therefore I decided to dedicate this chapter to you. I have read some of your work and it is fantastic, I mean some of it is flawless. So again, thank you xxx**

**Faye: to get such lovely feedback so soon into the story really helped me carry on, it was my first time sharing my writing with people and your encouragement meant a lot. Thank you xxx**

**AmandaFray: My first review. Thank you xxx**

**And to all those others who took the time to review, weather it was persistently or just once, they all meant so much. Thank you xxx**


	18. Sequel

The sequel for _Learning how to live and to breathe _has now been posted, it is called _Oxygen Debt. _I was amazed by the support i received for the first story and I would be overjoyed to receive even half of the support for its sequel.

OXYGEN DEBT: Arthur and Merlin have moved on with their lives since the battle with Uther, but when something unexpected happens, Merlin's past treatment causes a lot of problems. Can Arthur help him move on for the sake of their family or is Merlin too broken to fix? male/male, Mpreg, abuse and flashbacks of rape.


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